The End SA

District 9 Interview

2009-08-15T19:11:00.000+02:00

Recently I got a chance to interview Sharlto Copley and Neill Blomkamp of District 9 for The Surf.

Recently I got a chance to interview Sharlto Copley and Neill Blomkamp of District 9 for The Surf.

We discussed the failed Halo project, 8-bit Halo, potential sequels/prequels and American accents.

Iron Man 2 Footage Leaked

2009-08-08T22:06:00.000+02:00

The Iron Man 2 Teaser footage from Comic Con has been leaked on YouTube. This won't be up long so you better watch it while you can.

If the video below isn't working it means Marvel or Paramount had it yanked.

Favreau Made an Offer for Iron Man 2

2008-06-11T21:33:00.001+02:00

Nikki Finke is reporting that Marvel Studios have officially made Jon Favreau an offer to direct Iron Man 2. The big question now is weather or not he will take it. At the Hulk premier Favreau revealed that he is unhappy with the planned release date for the sequel.

Now In order for a Favreau directed sequel to happen one of the groups has to bend, either Marvel has to change the release date or Favreau has to jump on board with the small amount of time to pull the project together.

Lets hope they can make things work.

Mercedes vs BMW

2008-06-02T22:51:00.006+02:00

Considering purchasing a luxury vehicle but can’t decide which German built car is better? Take some advice from someone who drives like a maniac and loves blasting German pop music (and you thought we didn’t have any experts).Last year was a very challenging one for Mercedes Benz South Africa (MBSA) but this year revenues increased by 6% and unit sales are up by 9.6%. The main factor for the increasing sales is the new C-Class, for you Merc fans that would be the W204 range.

There is such a demand for the new C-Class because most expensive safety features and extras such as a CD changer are now standard. A more important factor for you guys considering buying a Merc is that since the new C-Class is manufactured in East London, that little South African spot on the bottom right, it means that inflation (that is at the moment going at around 10%) does not have such a huge impact. Even though the parts are mainly imported the main operation is done in the new manufacturing plant that cost MBSA a sweet R2bn for our non-accountants that is R2 000 000 000. Which considering inflation was a bit more back then), I am lazy so do your own calculation on that.

The last advantage I am going to mention about driving a C-Class is that a “Mercedes-Benz is seen as something of an investment” rather than a depreciating asset. When one compares 2^nd hand cars between Merc and BMW, the resale value of a Merc is simply higher - sorry to you BMW fans.

The BMW is trying to maintain its client base with a different strategy; instead of having a good resale rate it is trying to become cleaner and more efficient. This is to save petrol and save the environment - obviously. This is not to say MBSA is not trying to do so but they haven't put nearly as much effort into this as BMW.

BMW introduced a three-phased strategy to achieve clean energy with the ultimate aim being almost zero carbon emissions. I am not going into detail about all the phases as that would be an essay in itself but the results are very good (this is coming from a Merc fan so trust me). The new 2007-2008 models that have been equipped with the new design already have seen fuel consumption drop by 23% in Europe. Sadly this package will only be available by 2010 in SA.

Now the question of course is what is cheaper, well if you really have to ask that you should not be buying a luxury car first of all and secondly if I would go into the calculations it would take another 2 pages. Lets just say the Merc will keep its value and the BMW is cheaper to run which means it depends on all sorts of factors.If you are interested to know let me know and maybe I'll do a follow up.

Before you chose between either, however, maybe think of rather getting a motor bike or a scooter and do the rest of us a favour, because if you give up a car you will not only save money on less petrol and lower costs you will also not be in front of me so that I have to wait longer in traffic – I mean you will help save the environment.

Does The Hollywood Reporter Only Employ Idiots?

2008-05-20T19:15:00.001+02:00

Who says cost cutting and synergy don't effect the quality of journalistic output. Take a look at what this mook from the Hollywood Reporter did.

I came across this completely useless piece of box office analysis on Yahoo! that originates from The Hollywood Reporter.

Journalist Carl DiOrio tries to put the opening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in perspective by arguing that its projected opening of more than $150 million may topple the record held by Spiderman 3 of $151.1 million.

There is of course one big problem with this analysis, which DiOrio is at least smart enough to pick up on:

That would put "Skull" on course to surpass the "Spider-Man 3" opening of $151.1 million in May 2007 -- with a big asterisk, given that Spidey reached that level in three days.

Yes, Spiderman 3 did reach that level in 3 days but this isn’t the 1961 Baseball season. It is pretty standard boxoffice practice to compare 5 day grosses with 5 day grosses and opening weekend grosses with opening weekend grosses – not some crazy case of apples, oranges and asterisks.

If DiOrio was some random commentator this could be forgiven but to be a professional journalist and not even take the time to do some of that research stuff – inexcusable.

Oh but wait there is more, it’s not like this is some guy working for the KwaZulu Natal Mercury, which has other topics to focus on – this guy is working for The Hollywood Reporter, which specializes in the film trade.

And the extra research he needed to do to make his article relevant? All he had to do was go to boxofficemojo.com, click all time under the boxoffice tab and then select 5 day openings. Is that all too hard for a professional journalist?

Anyway, here are the real stats that Crystal Skull has to compete with to get into the record books:

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith	$172,802,507
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest	$169,506,744
Spider-Man 3	$169,444,466
Spider-Man 2	$152,411,751
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End	$147,591,127

So Indy needs to get more than $172.8 million to become the new 5 day champ, a fete Steve Mason thinks it can accomplish.

$51M-$60M Weekend for Caspian = Very Disappointing

2008-05-17T17:50:00.001+02:00

Saturday reports place Caspian slightly better then earlier reported. With reports ranging from a $18M Friday and a $51M weekend to a $19M Friday and a $60M weekend the film looks like a major disappointment.

Some film suits are going to be having severe heart palpitations for the rest of the weekend and praying for a summer miracle.

Has Prince Caspian Got Stage Fright?

2008-05-17T06:44:00.001+02:00

Early Box Office reports say that the big budget fantasy sequel, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, may be off to a shaky start in the US. It looks as thought the film will only gross around $17.5 million for Friday and possibly a dismal $51M-$56M opening weekend. Is this figure holds (which is sketchy this early) it means Caspian will have fallen far short of the $75M-$80M it was expected to make with ease and even less than the $65.6M opening weekend of the first Narnia film.

With the new Indiana Jones film around the corner and the Summer being far more concentrated than the previous films December release it looks like it will be an uphill struggle for this to out gross the original. The film will probably still do big business internationally.

Iron Man on the other hand is looking to have another good hold and may be able to crack $300M during its run.

Spiderman 4 and 5 to be Shot Together

2008-05-16T19:21:00.001+02:00

Cinematical are reporting that Spiderman 4 and 5 will be filmed together. Apparently screenwriter, James Vanderbilt (Zodiac), has turned in his working draft of Spidey 4 and the story arc spans over two films. Sony are interested in filming both at the same time probably to save some money and maximize profits.

If the rumours are true it will be interesting to see if Sam Raimi, Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst return or if the studio will bring in some new blood for the franchise.

Any thoughts on which villain(s) could encompass a two film story?

3rd Incredible Hulk Trailer

2008-05-14T18:51:00.001+02:00

The New Hulk Trailer came out with Speed Racer and The Hulk is looking better.

Superhero Hype have posted a new Incredible Hulk Trailer. I'm not sure if it's because it's low quality but the Hulk is looking much better. Now that Iron Man has come out this is the film I am most interested in seeing because unlike The Dark Knight and Hellboy 2 it is unknown if this film will be good. The uncertainty of the project, mixed with the behind the scenes drama make me curious if this will be a slam dunk or an utter failure. Here is the newest trailer:

The shot with the Hulk and Betty sitting in what looks like a cave while it is raining (this was in the last trailer as well) is what gives me hope for this project. That shot and a few others are classic imagery from the Hulk mythology. My one big gripe is Norton turning into the Hulk while he is strapped to the bed - it looks like the scene in Scooby Doo when Scrappy turned into a monster - disappointing.

Unfortunately, this trailer came out with Speed Racer so hardly anyone will have seen it. Let's hope it's also attached to The Crystal Skull or Prince Caspian.

W - Oliver Stone's George Bush Movie

2008-05-08T19:34:00.001+02:00

EW has the first look at Oliver Stone's new project, W (or dub-ya), about US president George W. Bush.

The film will undoubtedly cause controversy - since it may be released in early October during the height of the presidential campaign and Stone says it will be a ''fair, true portrait of the man,'' which is enough to give Republicans concern.

Josh Brolin will be in the title role which could make or break his floundering career, which is currently enjoying a bit of an up tick.

Look for the film to be turn out more as a comedy with Stone arguing that Bush is like a reverse Gatsby. "This movie can be funnier because Bush is funny. He's awkward and goofy and makes faces all the time." It could score at the Int.boxoffice.

That's Pretty Racist Juno

2008-04-24T15:36:00.001+02:00

Yes, we are going to attack the heart-warming movie of the moment with racist allegations. We are just that bitter. Would you like some gum?

I just got another hate comment on the racism in Transformers post and remembered how much fun it is to get all the clan lovers riled up. I decided I should point out some more racist action in the film industry and remembered I was planning on writing a post about Juno in December but never got around to it.

I won’t bore you with the whole I loved the movie I’m a huge Jason Reitman speech – I’ll just get straight to the point.

When they started marketing the film I was pretty pissed off to find out that it stole one of my signature lines – using Morgan Freeman as an arbitrary conversation point. Ask Viggly or Stelloh, they’ve heard me over the years use Morgan Freeman for al kinds of crap. Take the following pointless examples:

Person: Is that you Rob?
Me: No, it’s Morgan Freeman. (this is basically what the film used)

Person: You’ll never guess who I saw last night?
Me: Morgan Freeman.

Person: Hey, guess who Marcus scored last night?
Me: Morgan Freeman.

Person: What’s the capital of Brazil?
Me: Morgan Freeman.

I accidentally stub my toe.
Me: Morgan ‘Fucking’ Freeman that hurt!

Basically there was a point in my life where I’d just use Morgan Freeman as the answer to any question. Obviously, Juno (or more precisely Diablo Cody) didn’t steal it form me. But after Juno - especially since it’s grossed a ludicrous amount of cash and almost everyone will have seen it within the next year - I can’t use the phrase anymore without looking like a lame Juno imitator.

Anyway, back to the racism. Juno’s line in the film is something like, “No, It’s Morgan Freeman, need any bones collected?” Hello, Morgan Freeman wasn’t in The Bone Collector or has never played someone that’s trade mark is collecting bones. The person in question is Denzel Washington.

Now that’s quite an oversite. That would be like mistaking Brad Pitt (younger white actor in his prime) for Jack Nicholson (Old established white actor). So who ever is responsible for that line seems to think that all black people look the same. That’s just racist.

What are they planning on saying in Juno 2: Attack of the Abandoned Baby:

Friend: Is this Juno?

Juno: No, It’s Martin Lawrence, is Billy Bob Thornton around so I can have academy award winning depressed sex with him?

Here are a couple of lines Juno could have said that would not have been racist:

No it’s Morgan Freeman…

Have any old women that need to be driven around?

Any young Jack Ryan’s there for me to mentor?

Have you seen Betty?

Do you think my eyebrows looked ridiculous in Dreamcatcher?

Know any junkies whose kids I can steal?

Would you like to build an Ark?

Have you seen that tall drink of water with the silver spoon up his ass?

Oh, and here is a drinking game you can play with the whole family. Pop the Juno DVD in and every time you see a black person have a drink. While you have fun playing that I’m going to have to come up with another celebrity name to use as my trademark.

Bear Almost Kills Will Ferrell

2008-04-23T15:36:00.001+02:00

In what can only be called a tragedy, "the best working bear in the business" killed his trainer. Rocky, the bear in question wrestled Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro (thus, if he had snapped months earlier he could have killed Ferrell - if Farrell hadn't used a stunt double).

Stephen Miller, 39, was participating in a training exercise with Rocky (the bear) and 3 other trainers when Rocky turned on him.

Rocky's fate is currently unknown but he'll probably be euthanized.

Stephen Colbert is bound to have something to say about this, since for years he has maintained that bears are the greatest threat to civilization.

Before you throw away your teddy bear and lose all faith in the species, click here, it may change your mind. "I can't believe he's really twisting the stick!" What is this an infomercial?

How Low Can You Go? US Presidential Candidates on WWE Raw

2008-04-22T01:47:00.001+02:00

In what can only be called a new low in American politics all three presidential candidates will deliver a taped video message, which will be played live on the WWE's Monday Night Raw.

The candidates won't just be delivering an election message but a wrestling inspired smack down. Clinton will call herself Hillrod (surprisingly not the Bosnian Sniper Dodger), Obama wants you to smell what he's cooking (I'm not sure but it smells like cheese) and McCaine says you have to beat the man (but obviously means member).

Appearing on a show that promotes sexism and homophobia but at the same time features a bunch of men sweating, moaning and grabbing each other in outfits that can only otherwise be seen at gay pride parades or one of Deon Malan's parties, doesn't exactly generate confidence in the candidates.

Way to get the white trash vote and the rest of the world rushing off to purchase nuclear bunkers. We're fucked.

Kill People the Green Way

2008-04-19T19:09:00.001+02:00

What do churches, bullets and toys have in common? If you said toast you should consider getting a metal health check up, otherwise read on.

We've all heard about people steeling the copper telephone wire in developing countries and how this wouldn't happen in respectable developed countries. Well it is happening there too.

England has a lead theft problem. Thieves are peeling strips of lead off church tops to sell on the black market. The clergy, of course, are renowned for their large supply of lead or as Leonardo de Vinci said, "If you want gold and women become a King. If you want lead and children become a priest."

Why steal lead? Because lead shortages and high Chinese demand have pushed up the price of lead to all time highs.

That's right that lead painted G.I. Joe your kid is sucking on isn't only killing him slowly it's pushing up the price of lead (China just banned our blog for that comment, which is impressive since I haven't even posted it yet - those guys are really on the ball). Do you know what else they use to make lead with?

Bullets. Ammo costs have gone up and supply has dwindled (supply and demand go figure). Some blame this on the Iraqi war but here is the real culprit:

This is a live webcam of John Rambo. He is in some developing country and all he does all day is fire off endless rounds at developing soldiers. Aside from being quite the marksman (look at those headshots) and spreading democracy ("the bullet is the truest means of voting" - George W.), Rambo is also pushing bullet costs up to the extreme. Someone needs to stop this man and get him to go from that, to this:

Yes, John Rambo there are green alternatives to killing and decapitating developing soldiers and generally spreading the goodwill of democracy, why don't you start using them?

Until someone does teach Rambo to kill in a cost effective manner Police are having to reduce the amount of target practice their recruits can get. That's right police are going to get worse at aiming. Which is not what we need when we are faced with an invasion of the Cow-Men™ /Gator-Men™ coalition.

If you want to find out more about rising metal prices and supply and demand visit Freakonomics.

Note: Due to a massive demand in truth from the general public and the miniscule supply coming from the press, politicians and big business the cost of truth is at an all time high. Unfortunately The End SA cannot afford these prices and cannot guarantee that this article is 100% true.

Man-Crush: Jason Segal

2008-04-18T20:56:00.001+02:00

This weekend Forgetting Sarah Marshall opens in the states, which could mean big things for that life sized teddy bear of a man - Jason Segal.

Yes, I have a man crush on Jason Segal. Does that make me lame? I don’t care.

The goofy 6ft 4” actor first caught my attention in the Judd Apatow (40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up) created show Undeclared. Segal wasn’t a series regular but the episodes with him as the psycho boyfriend were the best of the short lived series. After all what is funnier than a guy who gives his girlfriend a pillow with his face printed on it? Note: This is also a favourite seduction technique of Deon Malan.

After seeing Undeclared I learned of the cult classic, which preceded it, Freaks and Geeks. Also produced by Judd Apatow and featuring Seth Rogan this great ode to 80’s and high school culture, was probably the best high-school series ever created. The fact that this show didn’t have a second season was a major bummer.

This time around Segal played Nick, a stoner drummer with no rhythm, who seemed to think the bigger the drum kit the better the drummer. Once again Segal played an overly obsessive boyfriend who has no understanding of boundaries.

Then Segal hit some prime time stability with How I Met Your Mother, one of the freshest sitcoms on TV. As Marshall Eriksen he plays less of a psycho and more of the general nice guy but is still milking the child like vulnerability for everything its worth.

Now due to the miracle of the Apatow power train (coming off two miss-fires with Walk-Hard and Drillbit Taylor) Segal gets to write and star in his own movie without any major Hollywood success.

Riding in his favour is that Forgetting Sarah Marshall is receiving very good reviews and the studio has executed a successful guerrilla marketing plan. In fact it’s going to be one of the few films in wide release that is fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.

On the negative side the trailers have not been ridiculously hilarious, although most of Apatow’s films have saved the laughs for the film and not the trailer. Also the film probably has a lot of R rated jokes that can’t make the trailer. Segal does do some full fontal nudity in the film for one thing.

It opens this weekend and analysts are predicting a 15m-16m opening in second place behind the Jacki Chan/Jet Li vehicle The Forbidden Kingdom. Let’s hope that Forgetting Sarah Marshall proves them wrong. Why? Because Jason Segal fucking rules.

Just Expressing - The End of the World

2008-04-18T19:36:00.001+02:00

Global warming - Global smorming. There is something much bigger danger approaching and it is going to lead to the end of all humanity (including Facebook)! Find out what it is - and no it's not a Lego invasion.

I was rummaging through the opinions and thoughts of Rommel Acebedo, who has an interesting blog by the way – give it a look (crisp layout), and discovered a post claiming that alligator blood is now going to be used as an antibiotic. Here is the skinny:

Biochemists from McNeese State University have described how proteins in gator blood may provide a source of powerful new antibiotics to help fight infections associated with diabetic ulcers and severe burns. This new class of drug could also crack so-called ’superbugs’ that are resistant to conventional medication. Previous studies have showed alligators have an unusually strong immune system; unlike humans, alligator immune systems can defend against microorganisms such as fungi, viruses, and bacteria without having prior exposure to them. Scientists believe that this is an evolutionary adaptation to promote quick wound healing, as alligators are often injured during fierce territorial battles.

Brings a whole new meaning to the term Gator Aid. This sounds a little too familure to something else, probably this:

Connors developed an experimental serum taken from reptilian DNA. He successfully regrew the missing limb of a rabbit and then, despite the warnings of his wife Martha, chose to test it on himself. Connors ingested the formula and his missing arm did indeed grow back. The formula had a horrible side effect; Connors was subsequently transformed into a reptilian humanoid monster. (from Wikipedia)

Yes this alligator DNA bears a striking resemblance to the origin of the Spiderman villain The Lizard. We all know what that means. Now, not only do we have to worry about the army of Cow-Men™ that Monkey Boy has mentioned, but also an invasion of Gator-Men™.

What if these two join forces? Together they can storm the land and sea. We will be forced to live in planes and with airline service the way it is, it might just be a better option to battle the genetic freaks.

Thanks for the heads up Rommel. We’ve been warned world.

GI Joe Costumes look like Fantasy Sex Outfits

2008-04-18T18:12:00.001+02:00

Yes, this may look like a cheap role playing sex costume but it's actually a 1st look at Karolina Korkova as Cover Girl, in the new G.I Joe movie.

What Would Tyler Durden Do has an exclusive 1st look at the new character pics from the film. Including more images of Rachel Nichols as Scarlett and Ray Park as Snake Eyes as well as the first shots of Channing Tatum as Duke, Marlon Wayans as Ripcord, Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow, Sienna Miller as The Baroness, and Dennis Quaid as General Hawk.

See the shots...

The shots seem to be pretty raw - you can still see Rachel Nichols acne scars. Also they look pretty stupid (especially Quaid), which is disappointing because the 1st shots of Park were great. It looks like they want to get a Playboy tie in to reduce the budget. No hope for these troops when the cows attack.

UPDATE: Durden has removed the shots due to Universal threatening them but Nightly.net still have them up. Which also means I was right about these being untouched shots. Here are the thumbnails below.

What to Tell Your Kids About Your Plastic Surgery

2008-04-18T04:04:00.001+02:00

Dr Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon, has written a picture book to help mothers explain to their 4-7 year olds that they are getting plastic surgery.

Apparently, little kids can get freaked out when their mom comes home looking like she fought Mike Tyson. Future books in the series will include. My Daddy the Serial Killer, Why Mommy plays with Humberto the Gardener? and Why Daddy plays with Humberto the Gardener?

Money Buys Happiness

2008-04-18T02:57:00.001+02:00

Two economists claim that money buys happiness. But if money buys happiness, and money pays your taxes doesn't that mean that paying your taxes should make you happy. Looks like two more smart people are actually not so much. Find out how you can cure depression with a giant wad of cash.

Most of us don’t get our kicks out of attaching a R100 note to a fish hook and some line, then lowering it down a building and suddenly yanking it away whenever an excited homeless person tries to grab it (shame on you Marcus Stelloh). But most of us do get some form of happiness from having more money than others.

At least this has been the consensus since a 1974 study by Richard Easterlin was published. However, the study had some unexpected results known as the Easterlin Paradox.

To sum up the three observations:

Within a society, rich people tend to be much happier than poor people.
But, rich societies tend not to be happier than poor societies (or not by much).
As countries get richer, they do not get happier.

This little bit of information made the relationship between financing and happiness a relative statistic. Thus, it did not matter if you had less than those in other countries because all that mattered was that you were richer than those around you.

This little paradox has been exploited by the press, hippies and a couple of munchkins to illustrate that money doesn’t buy happiness. As opposed to the fact that people are superficial and want to be number one in their space.

However, now an Aussie with a ponytail and an American who hardly ever blinks have disputed the Easterlin Paradox. There new study basically observes the following:

Rich people are happier than poor people.
Richer countries are happier than poorer countries.
As countries get richer, they tend to get happier.

This is pretty groundbreaking because as anyone who reads the Bible knows, Esterlin is infallible and if the new research, from Wolfers and Stevenson, is accepted by the greater economic community it would prove him wrong – undoing all creation and effectively ending all life (that might be wrong but it’ll sell newspapers).

Wolfers and Stevenson claim that the new findings are due to errors in collecting data among countries.

I, however, am not so convinced, although I’m sure the press will mount this like Paris Hilton to ‘any moving object’. Of course I haven’t read the whole study yet (it’s over 70 pages and I’ve known about it for an hour) but from what I can assess is the following:

This is what I’d call a meta-study based on large quantities of different studies that are not standardized whatsoever. Meaning that the generalization of the findings is problematic.
The world has changed in the last 30 years and there is far more global awareness. People in poor countries probably know more now about the better living conditions of their foreign counterparts than before. Meaning the study might not have taken the trend of globablization into account, which might make it as though we are living in the same country (it’s a small world after all).
There is no proof that the people conducting the surveys weren’t using candy to sway the results.

Look how unhappy us South African’s are:

The Captain America - Zak Penn Blunder

2008-04-16T15:39:00.001+02:00

Zak Penn told ComicMix that he is working on the Captain America film. But then his representatives contacted ComicMix to inform them that he isn't, even though they transcribed the interview correctly.

Either Penn has a very overactive imagination or he violated the confidentiality part of his contract. If you read the interview you also find out that Penn isn't necessarily to blame for crap like Fantastic Four; that the new Hulk film is Norton's baby since Penn hasn't been involved in months; and there may be a young X-Men movie. They better bring back Cyclops.

Scrubs to Return for Eighth Season?

2008-04-07T17:42:00.001+02:00

When NBC announced it's line up for next season Scrubs fans were left empty handed. Not only was the long running "smack me on the ass and call me Sally because this shit is whack" show being cancelled but due to the writers strike six of the planned episodes that were to tie up the series and end it properly were cancelled.

Fortunately the long rumoured move from NBC to ABC looks like it will actually take place. E! Onlineclaims that 16 more episodes will air. Apparently the budget has been trimmed but Zach Braff is on board.

Don't know about you but I'm stoked. You can read the full report from E! here.

Introducing Cow-Man: Scientists Make Human-Cow Embryos

2008-04-03T15:44:00.001+02:00

British Scientists have created embryos using human cells and the egg cells of cows. They claim that such experiments will not lead to human-animal hybrid babies or to medical therapy.

So what use could these sneaky scientists have with such a 6th day violation. You have a right to be sceptical. They only ruled out hybrid babies, which means these Newton loving bookworms intend to skip the infant size and begin producing an entire army of ferocious Cow-Men™. Look at the pic on the left for the fate of your doom. You have been warned world.

Never Say Die - Friday Night Lights Returning for 3rd Season

2008-04-03T03:24:00.001+02:00

The unthinkable has happened. A network TV show that is declining in ratings has been renewed with a landmark deal.

Defying the odds once again Friday Night Lights has been renewed for a third season. The show was renewed for a 2nd season last year, in spite of low ratings, due to critical acclaim and a loyal fanbase. This year the ratings have not improved and it seemed like it would be curtains for the struggling show.

However, NBC and DirecTV have come to a rather unusual deal. 13 more episodes of the show will be filmed with NBC and DirecTV splitting the production costs. The episodes will then premier on the satellite service, DirecTV in October, before being aired on broadcast network NBC early next year.

NBC entertainment chief Ben Silverman said that the deal would allow NBC to make a profit off the show without extending its audience. DirecTV's maximum audience of 16.1 million people is not expected to negatively effect the shows viewership on NBC and in addition the additional marketing from DirecTV is expected to expand the shows audience.

Of course this news is bigger than the show itself. With the writers strike and general Broadcast TV ratings dips negatively effecting the networks advertising revenues, there is a need to find ways to cut costs. Until this the most common way has been cancelling scripted shows in favour of more reality TV.

This deal could represent a change in the way business is done among the networks. Resulting in quality shows with loyal fanbases being kept in production without major budget cuts. It also means that broadcast will not necessarily be the first stop for all it's primetime shows anymore (which already happened with Dexter).

If only this could have happened for Arrested Development.

Rage: I Found Another Racist

2008-03-24T16:26:00.001+02:00

What makes us at The End more angry than ignorant racists? If you said nothing, you got the right answer. If you said Bob Saget's standup you were a close second.

I stumbled onto Wogan’s blog today who had posted a letter from some other (unknown to me) blogger, which was a response to a recent Mercury article titled 'It's not too late, say sorry for apartheid'. While Wogan seems to think that this was a sharp response, it personally made my blood boil, it ground my gears (al la Peter Griffin), it made me see red and all other synonyms for a sudden burst of rage.

Obviously the letter is either written by an ignorant moron or a wanna-be Goebbels trying to develop some new propaganda. Anyway, I’ve decided to re-write it so it makes more sense. The original is in red italics.

To the Previously Disadvantaged,

To the disadvantaged,

We are sorry that our ancestors were intelligent, advanced and daring enough to explore the wild oceans to discover new countries and develop them. We are sorry that those who came before us took you out of the bush and taught you that there was more to life than beating drums, killing each other and chasing animals with sticks and stones.

We are sorry that our ancestors were power hungry morons bent on world domination. We are sorry that those who came before us disrupted your way of life and destroyed your culture.

We are sorry that they planned, funded and developed roads, towns, mines, factories, airports and harbours, all of which you now claim to be your long deprived inheritance giving you every right to change and rename these at your discretion. We are sorry that our parents taught us the value of small but strong families, to not breed like rabbits and end up as underfed, diseased, illiterate shack dwellers living in poverty. We are sorry that when the evil apartheid government provided you with schools, you decided they’d look better without windows or in piles of ashes.

We are sorry that they abused, tortured, killed, raped and exploited you as slaves so that they could develop roads, towns, mines, factories, airports and harbours, in order to further exploit your land and resources. We are sorry that our culturally imposed values and culture that our parents have passed onto us and we used to redefine your country undermine your values and culture. We are sorry that the evil apartheid government only provided you with schools that offered a compromised education to ensure your oppression.

We happily gave up those bad days of getting spanked in our all white schools for doing something wrong and much prefer these days of freedom where problems can be resolved with knives and guns. We are sorry that it is hard to shake off the bitterness of the past when you keep on raping, torturing and killing our friends and family members, and then hide behind the fence of “human rights” with smiles on your faces.

We happily give up those bad days when problems were solved with an “ask questions later” mentality. When the innocent were abducted, tortured, detained and killed without evidence or trial. We are sorry that we let the crimes of the minority make us bitter to the rest of your race. We are sorry that we are still racist.

We are sorry that we do not trust the government. We have no reason to be so suspicious because none of these poor hard working intellectuals have ever been involved in any form of corruption or “irregularities”. We are sorry that we do not
trust the police force and, even though they have openly admitted that they have lost the war against crime and criminals, we should not be negative and just ignore their corruption and carry on hoping for the best.

We are sorry that we do not trust the government even though the corruption and “irregularities” that occur in it are not far different from the governments of the countries which raped your land in the first place. We are sorry that we blame the crime on the inabilities of the new police force, when the seeds for such anarchy were nurtured in the hate and one sidedness of the previous one.

We are sorry that it is more important to you to have players of colour in our national teams than winning games and promoting patriotism. We know that sponsorship doesn’t depend on a team’s success.

We are sorry that for us ‘winning is all that matters’ and that we don’t care about having representative sports teams and promoting patriotism, even though out teams have still excelled on the field.

We are sorry that our border posts have been flung open and now left you competing for jobs against illegal immigrants from our beautiful neighbouring countries. All of them countries that have grown into economic powerhouses after kicking out the “settlers”. We are sorry that we don’t believe in witchcraft, beetroot and garlic cures, urinating on street corners, virginity testing, slaughtering of bulls in our back yards, trading women for cattle and other barbaric practices. Maybe we just grew up differently.

We are sorry that our counter parts have destroyed our neighbouring countries and that we don’t appreciate you efforts in the situation. We refuse to accepts or admit just how much harm we have done. We are sorry that we do not attempt to accommodate or except your cultures even though some of ours involve eating the blood and flesh of humans, taking expensive cough syrup (which does nothing), urinating on street corners, cooking our skin in the sun, starving ourselves for fashion and other barbaric practices.

We are sorry that your medical care, water supplies, roads, railways and electricity supplies are going down the toilet because skilled people who could have planned for and resolved these issues had to be shown away because they were of the wrong ethnic background and now have to work in foreign countries where their skills are more needed. We are so sorry that we’d like this country to fulfil its potential so we can once again be proud South Africans.

We are sorry that we are so against affirmative action and what it stands for. We are sorry that we can never acknowledge the new government’s achievements but linger on the failures. We are sorry that many of us have a bad case of ‘swart gevaar’ and left the country because of this. Most of all we are sorry that we never wanted apartheid to end, we just wanted to change its name and make some of its policies less cruel.

The Previously Advantaged

The Advantaged

Whoever wrote that letter and those who find it amusing are the very poison that makes me ashamed to be white. Why are we such a disgusting race?

The Wolfman Cometh

2008-03-21T18:41:00.004+02:00

The first look at the new Wolfman is finally here. While checking out the new big furry, why not take a walk down memory lane at gaze at some of makeup artist, Rick Baker's previous work.

It’s been 67 years since the first Wolfman film and in that time makeup sure has come a long way. Entertainment Weekly has released the first look at the New Wolfman due out February 13 2009.

Universal have pumped an $85 million budget into this horror remake starring Benicio del Toro (Traffic), Anthony Hopkins (The Remains of the Day), Hugo Weaving (The Matrix) and Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada).

While director Joe Johnston has no Werewolf experience (unless you count that scene in Jumanji where the boy turns into a dog thing), the same cannot be said for the films special effects makeup artist Rick Baker.

Baker told EW, “[To fans] At least you know that the guy who's doing the makeup in the movie is coming from the same place they are — as a fan. I have a real appreciation for the old Universal classics. The old fanboy in me is jumping up and down here!”

Baker became a makeup artist because of films such as Frankenstein and the 1941 original version of The Wolf Man. His passion for Werewolves is reflected in his resume. Take a look:

The Howling (1981)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Thriller (The Michael Jackson music video) (1983)
"Werewolf" (The TV series) (1987)
Wolf (1994)
Cursed (2005)

Apart from turning men in to lycans, Barker has also one the Academy Award for Best Makeup six times:

An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Harry and the Hendersons (1987)
Ed Wood (1994)
The Nutty Professor (1996)
Men in Black (1997)
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Applying the makeup to Del Toro took about 3 hours and another hour to remove it, which is quick for the type of work. It’s good to see that Barker has remained faithful to the original style and not gone overly giant wolf (al la Van Helsing).

It will be interesting to see what happens next year when this is released as Werewolves seldom do big numbers at the boxoffice. Here is a list of the top grossing modern (1980 – onwards) werewolf films without the ones that also have vampires (Van Helsing, The Underworld films).

1. Wolf (1994)	$65,002,597
2. Teen Wolf (1985)	$33,086,611
3. An American Werewolf in London (1981)	$30,565,292
4. An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)	$26,570,463
5. Cursed (2005)	$19,297,522
6. The Howling (1981)	$17,985,893
7. Silver Bullet (1985)	$12,361,866
8. Wolfen (1981)	$10,626,725
9. Teen Wolf Too (1987)	$7,888,703
10. The Company of Wolves (1985)	$4,389,334

Operation Margarine

2008-03-21T04:53:00.001+02:00

What does early margarine advertising have to do with the army, the church and arguments? Find out by reading this post.

The following is an extreme translation of Operation Margarine by Roland Barthes from Mythologies (find out what that is).

Nowadays it is common for people to smugly discuss the problems of the status quo as an foolproof means of defending it. This is how it goes down: You take the idea or the belief that you treasure like a head on a stick – then you attack it from all angles. Allow everyone to know how petty or problematic it is – let the idea ‘go-down’ on its own imperfection. Then just before this idea explodes all over its self pull it up and save it “in spite of” its problems, or rather because of them. Want a couple of examples? There are o so many.

Take the army. It’s a barbaric institution that is above civil law – it is the autocratic state within the democratic state. It takes common people and drowns them in uniformity. They are the ones who fight for the rights of a country that they themselves are exempt from. And just when everyone is in your pocket and sees that the army is archaic, with slight of hand, bam! Now you are talking about the perfect patriotic institution, that which the whole country, the flag - democracy itself depends on. It is a necessary sacrifice that is made to create the heroes that protect our way of life. And like a battered wife who knows no better, we come crawling back, battered and bruised but still very much in love.

Speaking of the army again. Argue about the scientists and engineers that blindly push the limits to create such devastating weapons – the same weapons that are used to exterminate human life. But then pull a 180 and speak about all the great developments that have come about because of this fierce science. Explain how the military is great because of the triumphs, which it provided the genesis of.

Last but not least, let us look at the church: Talk with words laced in napalm about its self-righteousness, its narrow-minded bigots – lay all of its faults out on the table. But then just before you deliver the final blow (picture the Superman vs Doomsday battle) – explain the benefits that its moral lawfulness provides and how the act of salvation can save even those who are excluded from its reach.

It is a kind of vaccine: one cures doubts in an idea by explaining the faults that plague it.

This inoculates those it touches as they accept a lesser evil to prevent or cure a diabolic one. Then anyone who rebels against the inhumanities of the status quo and its values – is the common illness that is now insignificant – already inoculated against. There protests will fall on deaf ears, as they are already accounted for. Those who see the weaknesses are pre-empted and familiarized with them before they can consider them as anything other than inevitable, and in the long run beneficial. We trade our freedom for the transcendent good of the idea. A little ‘confessed’ evil saves one from acknowledging a lot of hidden evil.

This vaccine can be seen in the marketing for Astra margarine. Their adverts always begin with a cry of resent against margarine: “A mousse? Made with margarine? Unthinkable!” “Margarine? Your uncle will be furious!” and then the adverts open one’s eyes and margarine is described as a delicious, economical and useful food.

The ads aren’t just selling a product they are selling a value - “Get rid of the prejudice which costs you dearly.” This is how the status quo disposes of progressive views. “The army is extreme, archaic and undemocratic.” “Of course the church is full of bigots and murderous conformism.” The argument then turns to the inevitable, “But”. But what is wrong with these insignificant negatives when they are entwined with tremendous advantages? It is worth the cost of the immunization. After all, does it matter if margarine is just fat, when it goes further than butter and costs less? Does it matter if the cost of order is a little brutal or a little blind, when it provides us such tremendous social benefits overall? And so we stand rid of the prejudices which cost us dearly. Stripped of our principles which cost ‘us’ too much, in terms of the ‘greater’ good.

Extreme Translation: Mythologies

2008-03-21T04:42:00.002+02:00

What's more extreme than a Minotaur, probably the Iron Man Hulk Buster Armour but since we don't have that, here is an extreme translation.

I will be posting extreme translations of certain essays from Roland Barthes's Mythologies. What's an extreme translation? Pretty much a summary in the first person. Instead of doing the typical summary - "Barthes said this; Barthes thought that." It will be written in the first person.

Also an extreme translation will update the language to a more contemporary understanding, however, examples and opinions will still be those of a 1950's Frenchman. I'm sure there are some who would hate this little project but I think Barthes himself would be in favour of it. The English speaking world does not have first hand access to Barthes's esays in Mythologies anyway, since he wrote them in French and they were translated by Annette Lavers. Thus, this is a translation of a translation.

So anyone familiar with Barthes's interest in meaning would know that he would probably find this project slightly interesting. Any of the following opinions are meant to reflect Barthes's opinions but since they are my interpretation of his work this will not always be the case.

Anyway enjoy Mythologies: The Extreme Translation (keep checking back here as more essays are added).

1. Operation Margarine

Who the Hell is: Roland Barthes

2008-03-14T05:08:00.001+02:00

Was Roland Barthes simply a guy who smoked cigarettes and looked non-chalant? Find out here.

The Just: Roland Barthes was a sickly Frenchman. While some would probably use the term sick to refer to his sexual or religious orientation the word is used here quite literally. Barthes suffered from bouts of poor health throughout his life. Which prevented him from being part of the more prestigious academic institutions of French academic life but also meant he could skip out on the draft during World War 2.

Born on November 12, 1915 Barthes lost his father to an act of man (a naval battle during WWI) at the age of one. Without a father figure Barthes was raised solely by his mother, Bill O’Reilly would probably argue that this turned him gay. His mother would prove to be the one true great love of his life as Barthes proved to be a tragic lover generally falling in love with the 'wrong' man. Or O'Reilly would argue, the wrong gender (If you haven't worked it out yet O'Reilly is homophobic).

Barthes would become most famous for a series of bimonthly articles he wrote for Les Lettres Nouvelles (those French and there crazy magazine names), these articles would latter be published in English in Mythologies and The Eiffel Tower and Other Mythologies. These articles dissected the ideological beliefs of modern day culture in the most seemingly ordinary everyday aspects of life. For instance kids toys teach kids to be part of society and stripping is about avoiding nudity.

Barthes died tragically in 1980. While crossing a road after a party (probably drunk) he was hit by a laundry truck (yes a laundry truck). He died a month later on the 25 March 1980 in hospital after failing to recover from his injuries. Friends of his said he just didn't seem to have the will to live anymore since his mother died 3 years earlier – the laundry truck just sped up the process.

The Scandal: Apparently had a friends with benefits relationship with fellow French philosopher Michel Foucault. Barthes ended things because he was jealous of Foucault's promiscuity and their friendship never recovered.

Probably Not True: It is reported that whenever Barthes uttered the word “Shazam!” he would transform into a superhero and defend France from the criminally insane.

Key Concepts: The man had more ideas than a JFK conspiracy theorist. He had a theory for everything and unlike most academics he was his own worst critic constantly re-evaluating and adopting new theories whenever his older ones began to become popular.

No 1. Myth:

Before reading this you might want to brush up on the concept of the sign. Now the problem with the sign is that the whole concept is pretty neutral. So it doesn’t explain the whole idea of say propaganda or ideology.

That’s right ideology or a belief system. Obviously when people talk they transport their beliefs through language but this isn’t always done in the regular direct fashion. We use things like simile or metaphor and things take on different connotations.

Barthes’s purpose with myth was to dissect the underlying belief systems that were fused into everyday life (rather than just claiming it’s common sense). Yeah, that’s right common sense is lame.

So what we think is common sense is in fact a myth – or an element of culture that makes itself appear natural when in fact it has a historical origin based on an ideology. For instance for years scientists made claims that the left side of men’s brains were more developed, while for women it was the right side. This enforced the whole notion of men being logical and rational, while women were intuitive. However, now that ideologies of gender equality are becoming more and more prominent scientists are finding that there is no difference between the development of men and women’s brains. Ola.

Barthes read cultural practices searching for these hidden ideologies by investigating that which he called “falsely obvious”. The only problem is that in investigating an object which myth works through, the object does not cease to be that object, thus making the whole process seem more concrete. For example in No Country for Old Men Chigurh’s coin represents fate or destiny but it does not cease being a coin.

Barthes expands the sign to explain this. There is a signifier and a signified that combine to make a sign – this is a first order system. But then myth hijacks this sign by turning the first order sign into a signifier of another sign. So myth is a second order system. Basically think of a step and then add another step onto it. The second step depends on the first.

Barthes uses the terms denotation and connotation to explain this. Denotation refers to the first order meaning and connotation refers to the second order meaning. Thus, Chigurh’s coin denotatively represents a coin but the connotation of it is fate.

In Short:

Signs can have layers of meaning
Myth is a sign that is built on another sign
Denotation refers to the first order sign
Connotation refers to the second order sign

More ideas coming soon...

More on The Incredible Hulk Trailer

2008-03-14T00:06:00.001+02:00

How long would you like to see two green monsters battle on screen? 6 minutes, 18 minutes, 30 minutes, 2 hours - find out if you'll get your wish when the Hulk fights the Abomination.

Here are some updates on the previous Hulk trailer post. The director of The Incredible Hulk, Louis Leterrier has confirmed that the effects shots from the teaser trailer released yesterday are not yet finished. He also said that the scene in the trailer where Hulk and the Abomination square off is the start of the final battle between the two gamma monsters. Here's a clip of what he said about the fight:

But our final scene, our final battle – unlike a normal movie where the final fight scene is six minutes long, ours is 26 minutes long! So you get 26 minutes of two monsters pummelling each other through New York City, jumping up and down, ripping helicopters from the sky and stuff.

26 minutes that might be a tad long, let's hope it works out. You can read the full interview yourself at empire online where they have a shot by shot analysis of the Hulk trailer with Leterrier. He makes no mention of Tim Blake Nelson's scene as Samuel Sterns (aka The Leader), however.

The official Incredible Hulk site is also up and those non-US citizens can now watch the teaser trailer there.

The Incredible Hulk Trailer

2008-03-13T04:27:00.004+02:00

The trailer for The Incredible Hulk if finally out. [insert excited sound]...

The first Incredible Hulk trailer was just released, check it out while you can at the end of this post before YouTube removes it. If you're in the US or have IP address cloaking software you can watch the trailer in HD at Mtv.com.

It looks like the film will be really exciting and everything Marvel have been promising - more action, a proper villain and a more heroic Bruce Banner/Hulk. Norton's performance looks to have all the right elements to it - the kind of "accidental hero torn between his curse/happiness and his moral responsibility to everyone else" thing.

In terms of design the new Hulk looks far better than the previous film and the Abomination looks downright awesome. However, in this trailer the CG is looking very obviously CG. Hopefully they will sort this out before the films release. I'm not overly worried about this, though, as I would rather watch a great film with average graphics than the other way around.

Here's the Abomination and another Hulk pic:

Enjoy this trailer while it's still around.

Tilda Swinton is a TRY-HARD

2008-03-01T22:43:00.005+02:00

Michael Clayton was a terrible film that ended up steeling Into the Wild's Oscar spot. Well, let the Clayton bashing begin.

We’ve all met try-hards. Those people who just let the shit fly out of their mouths in the hope that their audience will eat it up and declare them the king of the universe. At school (and sadly university) you had those guys who would tell the TALES of their weekend which usually involved everything except the Loch Ness Monster.

You know the type: “It was so hectic, I drank 43 beers and then 12 bottles of Whiskey, then the cops pulled me over while I was driving with a hooker on my lap but I told them straight “Look buddy I am the Law” so he let me go which was great timing because just then a camel walked past and offered to give us a ride back into town and didn’t even ask for a tip. (You can substitute “camel ride” for whatever extremely improbable events you were spun. The usuals are copious amounts of attractive women, booze, and how much bigger the other guy was, when truthfully they got drunk off 2 beers, and ended the night alone after being beaten senseless by a dwarf with cerebral palsy).

Now to the feature presentation: Tilda Swinton is a try-hard.

She claimed when asked about the Oscars: “I’ve never seen it on television and I’ve no idea what happens here.”

What a load of crap- I’m not one for celebrity gossip but this really ground my gears (I’ll have to check with Pete Griffin what the correct past-tense of “grind-my-gears” is).

Swinton, THE NOW OSCAR WINNER, claimed she had never seen the Oscars before and didn’t really know much about it. WOW, SHE’S SUCH AN INDIE ACTRESS- lucky for her she just happened to act in an “Oscar Movie” being released in time for “Oscar Season” which generated oodles of “Oscar Buzz” (who the fuck did she think this Oscar guy was anyway). It's probably the biggest lie caught on camera since Clinton lied to the entire Nation (you know the one about finding Hillary attractive).

Sadly- Tilda’s performance as she uttered these lines was very unconvincing, and she may have played the “I’m sooo disinterested in this Awards show” card a little too hard (Can’t remember all the jiz that came out of her mouth but I’m sure it’s documented on the Net somewhere).

A side point is that her performance in Michael Clayton wasn’t even that great. Sure she spoke with a decent American accent and their was one scene near the end where she looked reasonably shocked, but otherwise it was nothing special. Now Tom Wilkinson, on the other hand, deserved the statue, although I must admit I didn’t catch that Old Man Cowboy Movie but I can confirm that Javier Bardem’s haircut really freaked me out.

Microsoft Word Recovery

2008-03-01T21:33:00.004+02:00

In a desperate attempt to impress the world Nim Chimsky has written an article on how to recover files in MS Word. Probably not your smartest move Nim.

Ever been putting the finishing touches on your next best-selling novel; making the final changes on your Doctoral Dissertation; or just typing your lover’s name over and over and over and over to see if it really is meant to be (P.S. if you really do weird shit like this please stop reading and never visit this site again).

THEN all of a sudden something terrible happens…...

You close the programme and accidentally push “No” when Mr PC asks if you want to save your changes.

Well, here is some info that might help.

PLEASE NOTE: This article only deals with the older versions of Word. We will update the article as soon as our pending law suite with Microsoft is over (apparently we are so popular that by calling Word 2007 crap in a small article on our “highly influential” blog we “personally insulted the integrity of the company, not to mention hurt their feelings and compromised their dignity” (quote from a source who wishes to remain anonymous: not surprising, if I was as sensitive as that prick I’d also want to keep it a secret). Aah, if only their customer-service responded as quickly as their lawyers (they pounced on us before we could even say "jiminy willikers").

Anyway:

If you accidentally click “No” when asked if you would like to save your changes in Microsoft Word:

Go to Tools>Options>File Locations>AutoRecover Files...( look under the “File Types” column for “Auto Recover Files” and double click on it, under “Folder Name” scroll to the very left hand side to get the folder name) that should tell you where Word saves autobackups –

THEN GO TO THE FOLDER LISTED AND SEE IF THERE ARE ANY FILES DATED, for example, 12 DECEMBER 2007 (THE DATE YOU FORGOT TO SAVE YOUR WORK).

Also to make sure your future work is saved automatically: Go to Tools>Options>Save and tick “Save AutoRecover info every:” and specify a time (about 5 minutes should do the trick).

Hope that helps.

I am Going to Kill Microsoft Office 2007

2008-02-21T18:32:00.003+02:00

Anyone who's used Office 2007 by now knows that it's a wide load of unnecessary features (think ridiculously slow word processor). The best bit is that Vista comes with a 2 month trial for this piece of crap. After your two months are over you may notice that all your word documents have been saved in the new .docx format. Which means the only way you can open and edit your documents is to purchase the new Office 2007. Insert frustration here.

Luckily there is Docx2Rtf, a free converter which will change your documents back. Jack Lewis the software's creator is a narcissist and wants everyone who uses his software to tell him what they think of his software. Well Mr. Lewis you and your software fucking rock! Thank you God for Jack Lewis.

What are Film Awards Worth?

2008-02-21T17:59:00.001+02:00

Each year hundreds of films are released during awards season in the hopes of gaining some silverware and critical acclaim but is doing so worth it in light of the over-saturation of releases that takes place? Rob Scott investigates...

The following article was originally written for Boxoffice.com in September 2007. It was being held for release till closer to the Oscars. However, there has been editorial restructuring at Boxoffice.com, which left the article homeless. Out of desperation I have published it here - at the worst blog in the world.

Award season has begun and in the next few months more major film award ceremonies and festivals will take place then during any other period of the year. In the last five years 88% of all best picture nominees have been released during this period.

This season hundreds of prospective films will scramble for attention and distribution in anticipation of the announcement of the 80^th Academy Award nominations on 22 January 2008. This high influx of independent and studio films competing for awards is accompanied by the commercial Holiday releases, making the end of the year one of the most crowded periods. Many films are lost in the shuffle as wide spread distribution and long cinematic runs are extremely difficult to obtain.

Major studios run expensive campaigns to promote their contenders. In 2002 Universal Pictures invested $15 million, in addition to the films $30 million marketing budget, to promote A Beautiful Mind to the 5,739 voting academy members. Obviously the major studios see the additional spending as a worthy investment. Without the studios official numbers, the value of such an investment is one the rest of us can only speculate. Since data concerning a films gross is harder to come by after its box office run many researchers exclusively make use of the box office figures.

Commentators have long debated the relationship between awards and financial success. A general Hollywood rule of thumb is that an Oscar is worth $25 million in box office receipts. Others claim that it will add 15% onto the films box office gross. A number of studies have been conducted to investigate the monetary value of an Oscar. A 2001 study found a considerable correlation between an increase in financial revenue for a nomination or win in the best picture, actor or actress categories. The same study also discovered that the supporting actor/actress categories had little or no effect on a films box office performance.

However, only a handful of films win a major Oscar each year and the Academy Awards are only one of the many awards ceremonies that take place during the season. How does critical acclaim translate into financial gain over the course of the entire season? And what are the effects of critical acclaim on an independent film?

It is assumed that Independent films rely on critical acclaim as a major source of marketing. Due to the low marketing budgets of independent films and smaller audiences resulting in lower word-of-mouth, critical acclaim and awards are the major “buzz” generating system that helps smaller films get larger distribution and public awareness.

To test this theory a sample of independent films from the Independent Spirit Awards nominees of the last five years was constructed. The Independent Spirit Awards were chosen because they reflect the most acclaimed independent films of a particular year. Films with at least one nomination in the best picture, director, actor and actress categories were selected. From this sample five films were eliminated as they did not have a box office release or no box office data could be found. This resulted in a total sample of 60 independent films. Below is a table displaying the top and bottom 10 grossing films on this list (films that did not have a significant amount of time in release during awards season (September-December) were excluded).

Highest Grossing Films	Lowest Grossing
1) Brokeback Mountain#	1) Room
2) Sideways#	2) Virgin
3) Little Miss Sunshine#	3) The Dead Girl
4) Lost in Translation#	4) Down to the Bone
5) Pan’s Labyrinth#	5) Man Push Cart
6) Monster#	6) On the Outs
7) Good Night, and Good Luck#	7) Forty Shades of Blue
8) Capote#	8) Skins
9) Hustle & Flow#	9) Primer
10) Antwone Fisher	10) Tully

# indicates Golden Globe or Oscar win/nomination

Firstly, lets determine if gross and distribution are intricately connected. Box office ‘science’ claims there is a causal relationship between distribution and box office gross. The more screens a film shows on for the longest possible period the more revenue that film will generate. In a competitive market place theatre owners are less likely to allocate screens to smaller films with low marketing budgets and lower perceived public demand. Below are the 10 widest and lowest releases.

Widest Release	Lowest Release
1) Brokeback Mountain#	1) Room
2) Sideways#	2) Virgin
3) Little Miss Sunshine#	3) Man Push Cart
4) Capote#	4) The Dead Girl
5) Pan's Labyrinth#	5) Down to the Bone
6) Monster#	6) Forty Shades of Blue
7) Antwone Fisher	7) On the Outs
8) Hustle and Flow#	8) Tully
9) Good Night, and Good Luck#	9) Skins
10) Lost in Translation#	10) Primer

# indicates Golden Globe or Oscar win/nomination

It is clear from this that there is a strong correlation between gross and distribution as 100% of the top grossing films were the widest distributed and 100% of the lowest grossing films were the least distributed. Lets now compare the distribution patterns of the films with the amount of recognition the films received critically. Below are the top and bottom 10 critically acclaimed films.

Most Critically Acclaimed**	Least Critically Acclaimed**
1) Brokeback Mountain#	1) Room
2) Sideways#	2) Forty Shades of Blue
3) Lost in Translation#	3) Virgin
4) Pan's Labyrinth#	4) Skins
5) Far from Heaven#	5) The Door in the Floor
6) Capote#	6) The Dead Girl
7) Good Night, and Good Luck#	7) On the Outs
8) Little Miss Sunshine#	8) Sweet Land
9) The Motorcycle Diaries#	9) The Painted Vail
10) Hustle & Flow#	10) For Your Consideration

# indicates Golden Globe or Oscar win/nomination

** Films are represented in terms of their total number of wins and nominations and all awards have been given equal weighting, ignoring the fact that certain awards are more prestigious than others.

80% of the most critically acclaimed films were also the most widely distributed and 90% of the most distributed films received at least one Oscar nomination. 60% of the films with the least awards were also the least distributed. It is clear from this that for independent films critical acclaim is vitally important for financial success. Critical acclaim counters the effect of a low marketing budget and helps to obtain wider distribution and as it has already been noted distribution and gross go hand-in-hand.

Deadpool and Gambit Heading to the Big Screen

2008-02-19T18:36:00.001+02:00

Super Hero Hype is reporting that Deadpool and Gambit will be in the new Wolverine movie. Many suspected some type of Deadpool cameo since both Deadpool and Wolverine were part of the Weapon X project but Gambit is a bit of a curve ball. It will be interesting to see how they introduce him especially since this film is set in the past (too far back for Brian Cox to reprise his role as Stryker) and Gambit is meant to be the around the same age as Rouge. Word has it that Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder) and Taylor Kitsch (Friday Night Lights) are set to play Deadpool and Gambit respectively.

The Writers Strike is Over

2008-02-13T06:13:00.001+02:00

The writers strike is officially over and tomorrow writers will return to work and begin scripting new shows etc. Read the official announcement on Deadline Hollywood.

In a related story NBC and The Hollywood Foreign Press are apparently planning to sue the WGA because of the cancellation of the Globes. What a bunch of whiners.

Who was Watching the Watchmen?

2008-02-13T04:46:00.005+02:00

Fox are suing Warner Bros. and may bring the Watchmen film to a halt.

WB anticipated big budget adaptation of Watchmen has hit a major snag in its production. Fox has filed a lawsuit claiming that they in fact own the rights to the project which is already well into production.

According to Super Hero Hype:

Fox claims that between 1986 and 1990, it acquired all movie rights to the 12-issue DC Comics series and screenplays by Charles McKeown and Sam Hamm. In 1991, Fox assigned some rights via a quitclaim to Largo International with the understanding that the studio held exclusive rights to distribute the first motion picture based on Watchmen, according to the lawsuit.

When Largo dismantled, the rights were transferred to producer Lawrence Gordon. Under a "turnaround agreement" between Fox and Gordon, the producer agreed to pay a buy-out price to Fox if he entered into any agreement with another studio or third party to develop or produce Watchmen, among other things.

Now, Fox claims that neither Gordon nor Warner Bros. has paid the buy-out price or advised the studio of any other conditions required under the agreement, including procedures necessary to acquire the rights to Watchmen from Fox.

The whole thing smells a little odd. WB own DC Comics for one thing. Secondly, is this some kind of smear tactic against WB who have a major film on track for a 2009 release. Of course the writers strike has severally halted production especially of big budget effects films, which need longer amounts of time in post-production. Finally, it's a bit odd that they've waited this long to start legal proceedings, it's not like WB has been hush, hush about this film's production.

If Fox do succeed there will be a lot of pissed off Watchmen fans who were foaming at the mouth for the Zack Snyder adaptation.

James Blunt Toughens Up

2008-02-12T11:52:00.001+02:00

Sick of losing record sales because people think James Blunt is a sissy boy, his label have launched an evil plan to fool the masculine-macho man into buying his albums.

I'm not much of a James Blunt fan. I don't have the bursting red-eye, steaming ears, hyperventilating kind of contempt that some people have for him. But I definitely don't think he's the best musician to walk the earth since men started to walk like Deon Malan does.

This is probably why I only saw his new album cover today. Obviously after his first album came out there was a lot of criticism of Blunt being a she-man. Thus, he grew some facial hair and told stories about the army. It seems his record agency didn't think this was enough and decided to make use of some subliminal mind control techniques to load the singers image with some hulking testosterone.

Here is the singers latest album cover paired with another image from pop culture.

Notice any similarities? Of course you do. And in case you are blind and couldn't work it out the man on the right is none other than the punch line that is now the Red-Blooded conservative male - Chuck Norris.

Yes, it appears that to make Blunt appear tougher and thus appeal to left handed red-necks his record company have tried to sculpt his image to resemble that of Norris.

This is of course another instance of people trying to cash in on Norris's recent satirical fame, which is pretty much coming to an end. However, this stunt is nowhere near as shameful as Republican presidential contender Mike "Fuck evolution, fuck it up its stupid ass" Huckabee's use of Norris in his campaign. See the video below.

If only Huckabee had the political finesse of his running mate Stephen Colbert. Then maybe he'd get a few votes.

Marvel Superheros Back in Action

2008-01-25T07:03:00.001+02:00

Marvel Studios have signed an interim deal with the Writer Guild of America, which means they will be able to begin hiring writers to work on their projects effective immediately. Marvel are launching their first two film productions (Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk) this summer (US). With Thor, Captain America, Ant-Man and The Avengers in development.

This means that Marvel will have the upper hand for the 2009/2010 film years. This will put a lot of pressure on the other studios to end the strike. Warner Bros. has already had to postpone it's Justice League movie.

Review: Save Buckets

2008-01-24T11:37:00.001+02:00

Save Buckets - apparently they are endangered.For all those South Africans living in the UK looking to save a couple of bucks take a look at Save Buckets a price comparison site.

In this day and age of affiliate marketing sites are popping up left, right and center trying to direct traffic to other sites to make sales. Some even go so far as to give you the option of multiple sites at the same time. I’m sure there are some people that will have their 2 cents worth of negative opinions about sites such as this but I for one think they are fantastic. To simply be able to go to one location and compare prices saves a hell of a lot of time.

Save Buckets has a simple layout, which allows for easy navigation. They also do not throw thousands of prices at you from every angle like some similar sites, which means you are not overwhelmed by a barrage of numbers.

Plus, they have a feature called ‘My Price’ where you can tell them how much you are willing to spend on an item and they will email you the moment it becomes available within your price range. So go on try get an iPod Touch for £20, you never know maybe one day in 2 years you’ll get an email informing you. Anyway speaking of the iPod Touch I ran a search on Save Bucks and they returned some good results (about £30 cheaper than the regular price).

My only problem with the service is that it seems like everything is getting done manually. For instance the search for 8GB iPod Touch revealed one link to an iPod Touch that contained 13 different prices but there were also a few individual results that did not merge with that one. It would be better if all the prices for one item were listed on one page.

Heath Ledger is Dead

2008-01-23T07:57:00.001+02:00

Academy Award nominated actor Heath Ledger died yesterday at 28.

By now the news of Ledger's death has circled frantically round the net and major media networks. At about 10:30pm South African time on January 22nd Ledger was found dead in his New York apartment. If you are looking for detailed speculation you can read the press coverage at either E! or IMDB.

The discovery shocked me, probably because unlike Owen Wilson, Ledger did not survive and unlike Brad Renfro (who died last week) Ledger's career was only just beginning to take off. Of course Ledger already had an impressive resume having received an Academy Award nomination for Brokeback Mountain. In fact I skimmed over the first announcement I saw at IMDB because I assumed Ledger's picture was simply up for a story regarding his comments of yesterdays Oscar nominations.

Ledger launched his career in the teen comedy Ten Things I Hate About You and although the film was better than the average teen comedy it did not speak volumes for his calibre as an actor. Ledger then appeared in two commercial films The Patriot with Mel Gibson and A Knights Tale.

After this Ledger went about trying to strip himself of the teen idol vibe that had infected him, taking a small role in the critically acclaimed masterpiece Monster's Ball (giving viewers a glimpse of his potential). He followed this with the serious but also disastrous Four Feathers.

Then Ledger stopped appearing in larger productions and appeared in smaller films. This is probably the main reason why when Ledger popped up in a film about gay cowboys most people couldn't believe the critical praise Ledger was receiving for his performance.

Ledger's performance in Brokeback was a finely nuanced portrayal of a man who was restricted from emoting his desires. It was breathtaking. For the sake of eulogy, I will put the mask of machoism aside and admit that I cried like a baby at the end of that film.

After watching Brokeback I think it would have been hard for anyone to see Ledger as the teen hunk he was originally viewed as anymore. He broke out as an actor of the highest calibre. This summer he is set to return to the big screen in a major studio production, The Dark Knight, the latest Batman film, as The Joker.

When Ledger was originally announced there was a fair amount of protest from Batman fans. However, after the footage from the trailers and other promotional material was released his critics were silent. Of what early footage of The Dark Knight has been seen it seems as though Ledger's performance will replace Jack Nicholson's as the definitive Joker performance (and possibly comic book villain). Of course seeing Ledger up on the big screen most likely for the last time posthumously is bound to add an extra chill to the performance.

It will be interesting to see what becomes of the Ledger legacy. At only 28 and just beginning to step into his prime one has to wonder if his death will leave the kind of mark that James Dean's did. It is not often that the tragic death of an actor can leave the kind of iconic mark on society that is usually reserved to musicians but Ledger just may be able to pull it off. Either, way Ledger's death is a terrible tragedy for the film industry.

Not So Great Expectations

2008-01-22T21:37:00.001+02:00

What do you expect from an article about expectations? Hopefully not much... other than some really neat philosophy that is!

Expectations play a major part in our lives. Probably far greater than most of us realize. Somewhere along the course of our existence a ludicrous amount of expectations are implanted into us. Some of these come from formal systems of thought such as religion and art, while others spurn from social interaction and advertising. One could quite easily write a book about the various ways we become entwined with expectations but that is not the purpose of this post.

Rather I would like to take the opportunity to look at expectations and their relationship with pleasure. It is clear that there is a definite link between the two. If ones expectations are met or exceeded there is usually some form of pleasure felt. On the other hand if ones expectations are not met there is usually some form of negative emotion invoked.

One of these negative emotions is anger. If you buy a new DVD player and it doesn't work you will get angry. It doesn't matter if you brought a region 1 DVD player when all your DVD's are region 2, what matters is that you expected your DVD player to play your DVD's. So at first your anger will be directed at your DVD player but then when your realize that it was your mistake you may redirect your anger upon yourself or to the sales-assistant who assured you that it would work with region 2 DVD's.

But maybe you don't get angry. Maybe instead you become disappointed and maybe this leads to serious depression. The point is that when expectations are not met some form of negative emotions usually consume us and obviously this is a relative process – the higher ones expectations and the less they are met the more negative the reaction.

I'm sure almost everyone has been in a situation when they have received test results back and have been rather pleased with their mediocre pass, only to hear how disappointed someone who got 89% is that they didn't get over 90%.

Now if one wanted to make some kind of meta-claim it could be, “Expectations are the root of all evil”. This might be a bit extreme but hey all meta-claims are. Anyway it is fairly safe to say that if you want to enjoy life more lower your expectations.

Oscar Nominations

2008-01-22T05:35:00.000+02:00

"You like me! You really like me!" So here are the Oscar nominations for this year... "What do you mean you don't really like me? Asshole.The Oscar nominations have been announced and although this was a year with many films battling for a spot there are few surprises. Awards season favorites No Country for Old Men and There Will be Blood lead the Best Picture nominees with 8 nominations each. Following close behind are Atonement and Michael Clayton with 7 each and trailing at the back is Juno with 4 nominations.

But don't feel bad for the 'expecting' comedy as it generated more nominations then anticipated after nabbing a well deserved but surprising nod for director Jason Reitman. What's more upsetting is the strong showing of the bland Clooney starrer Michel Clayton, however, there is little chance that this picture will receive any silverware.

Other surprises include the poor showing for The Diving Bell and the Butterfly and Sweeney Todd (which walked away with the Golden Globe for best comedy) further cementing the opinion that the Globes mean nothing when it comes to the Oscars.

Personally I am also unhappy with the poor representation of Into the Wild,which in my opinion was one of the strongest films of the year and both Hirsch and Penn deserved nominations. Finally, Ryan Gosling fans will be disappointed to see that he failed to get a nomination for early favorite Lars and the Real Girl.

Here is the full list of nominations pasted straight from the press release:

Performance by an actor in a leading role

George Clooney in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)

Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)

Johnny Depp in “Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
(DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)

Tommy Lee Jones in “In the Valley of Elah” (Warner Independent)

Viggo Mortensen in “Eastern Promises” (Focus Features)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Casey Affleck in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (Warner Bros.)

Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)

Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Charlie Wilson’s War” (Universal)

Hal Holbrook in “Into the Wild” (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment)

Tom Wilkinson in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Cate Blanchett in “Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal)

Julie Christie in “Away from Her” (Lionsgate)

Marion Cotillard in “La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse)

Laura Linney in “The Savages” (Fox Searchlight)

Ellen Page in “Juno” (Fox Searchlight)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” (The Weinstein Company)

Ruby Dee in “American Gangster” (Universal)

Saoirse Ronan in “Atonement” (Focus Features)

Amy Ryan in “Gone Baby Gone” (Miramax)

Tilda Swinton in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)

Best animated feature film of the year

“Persepolis” (Sony Pictures Classics) Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud

“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney) Brad Bird

“Surf's Up” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Ash Brannon and Chris Buck

Achievement in art direction

“American Gangster” (Universal)
Art Direction: Arthur Max
Set Decoration: Beth A. Rubino

“Atonement” (Focus Features)
Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood
Set Decoration: Katie Spencer

“The Golden Compass” (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners)
Art Direction: Dennis Gassner
Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock

“Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Art Direction: Dante Ferretti
Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo

“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Art Direction: Jack Fisk
Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Achievement in cinematography

“The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (Warner Bros.) Roger Deakins

“Atonement” (Focus Features) Seamus McGarvey

“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn) Janusz Kaminski

“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roger Deakins

“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) Robert Elswit

Achievement in costume design

“Across the Universe” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Albert Wolsky

“Atonement” (Focus Features) Jacqueline Durran

“Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal) Alexandra Byrne

“La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse) Marit Allen

“Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount) Colleen Atwood

Achievement in directing

“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn) Julian Schnabel

“Juno” (Fox Searchlight) Jason Reitman

“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.) Tony Gilroy

“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) Paul Thomas Anderson

Best documentary feature

“No End in Sight” (Magnolia Pictures)
A Representational Pictures Production
Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs

“Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience” (The Documentary Group)
A Documentary Group Production
Richard E. Robbins

“Sicko” (Lionsgate and The Weinstein Company)
A Dog Eat Dog Films Production
Michael Moore and Meghan O’Hara

“Taxi to the Dark Side” (THINKFilm)
An X-Ray Production
Alex Gibney and Eva Orner

“War/Dance” (THINKFilm)
A Shine Global and Fine Films Production
Andrea Nix Fine and Sean Fine

Best documentary short subject

“Freeheld”
A Lieutenant Films Production
Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth

“La Corona (The Crown)”
A Runaway Films and Vega Films Production
Amanda Micheli and Isabel Vega

“Salim Baba”
A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production
Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello

“Sari’s Mother” (Cinema Guild)
A Daylight Factory Production
James Longley

Achievement in film editing

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal) Christopher Rouse

“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn) Juliette Welfling

“Into the Wild” (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment) Jay Cassidy

“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes

“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) Dylan Tichenor

Best foreign language film of the year

“Beaufort” A Metro Communications, Movie Plus Production
Israel

“The Counterfeiters” An Aichholzer Filmproduktion, Magnolia Filmproduktion Production
Austria

“Katyń” An Akson Studio Production
Poland

“Mongol” A Eurasia Film Production
Kazakhstan

“12” A Three T Production
Russia

Achievement in makeup

“La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse) Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald

“Norbit” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount) Rick Baker and Kazuhiro Tsuji

“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney) Ve Neill and Martin Samuel

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)

“Atonement” (Focus Features) Dario Marianelli

“The Kite Runner” (DreamWorks, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment and Participant Productions, Distributed by Paramount Classics) Alberto Iglesias

“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.) James Newton Howard

“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino

“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)

“Falling Slowly” from “Once”
(Fox Searchlight)
Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

“Happy Working Song” from “Enchanted”
(Walt Disney)
Music by Alan Menken
Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

“Raise It Up” from “August Rush”
(Warner Bros.)
Nominees to be determined

“So Close” from “Enchanted”
(Walt Disney)
Music by Alan Menken
Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

“That’s How You Know” from “Enchanted”
(Walt Disney)
Music by Alan Menken
Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

Best motion picture of the year

“Atonement” (Focus Features)
A Working Title Production
Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers

“Juno” (Fox Searchlight)
A Dancing Elk Pictures, LLC Production
Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers

“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)
A Clayton Productions, LLC Production
Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers

“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production
Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers

“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
A JoAnne Sellar/Ghoulardi Film Company Production
JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers

Best animated short film

“I Met the Walrus”
A Kids & Explosions Production
Josh Raskin

“Madame Tutli-Putli” (National Film Board of Canada)
A National Film Board of Canada Production
Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski

“Même Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)” (Premium Films)
A BUF Compagnie Production
Samuel Tourneux and Simon Vanesse

“My Love (Moya Lyubov)” (Channel One Russia)
A Dago-Film Studio, Channel One Russia and Dentsu Tec Production
Alexander Petrov

“Peter & the Wolf” (BreakThru Films)
A BreakThru Films/Se-ma-for Studios Production
Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman

Best live action short film

“At Night”
A Zentropa Entertainments 10 Production
Christian E. Christiansen and Louise Vesth

“Il Supplente (The Substitute)” (Sky Cinema Italia)
A Frame by Frame Italia Production
Andrea Jublin

“Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)” (Premium Films)
A Karé Production
Philippe Pollet-Villard

“Tanghi Argentini” (Premium Films)
An Another Dimension of an Idea Production
Guido Thys and Anja Daelemans

“The Tonto Woman”
A Knucklehead, Little Mo and Rose Hackney Barber Production
Daniel Barber and Matthew Brown

Achievement in sound editing

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal)
Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg

“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Skip Lievsay

“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney)
Randy Thom and Michael Silvers

“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Matthew Wood

“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro)
Ethan Van der Ryn and Mike Hopkins

Achievement in sound mixing

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal)
Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis

“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter Kurland

“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney)
Randy Thom, Michael Semanick and Doc Kane

“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate)
Paul Massey, David Giammarco and Jim Stuebe

“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro)
Kevin O’Connell, Greg P. Russell and Peter J. Devlin

Achievement in visual effects

“The Golden Compass” (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners)
Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood

“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney)
John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier

“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro)
Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Russell Earl and John Frazier

Adapted screenplay

“Atonement” (Focus Features)
Screenplay by Christopher Hampton

“Away from Her” (Lionsgate)
Written by Sarah Polley

“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn)
Screenplay by Ronald Harwood

“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

Original screenplay

“Juno” (Fox Searchlight)
Written by Diablo Cody

“Lars and the Real Girl” (MGM)
Written by Nancy Oliver

“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)
Written by Tony Gilroy

“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney)
Screenplay by Brad Bird
Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird

“The Savages” (Fox Searchlight)
Written by Tamara Jenkins

Designer Clothes – Good Old Fashioned Redundancy

2008-01-15T18:38:00.001+02:00

Monkey Boy takes on this flawed use of language by the yuppie army - yup... yup ...yup... Oh and there's a half naked male - for those who just want to look at half naked males.

Is there any other adjective used in contemporary society that is more idiotic then ‘designer’. Sure there’s the use of ‘neo’ in the term ‘neo-liberalism’. For one thing ‘neo-liberalism’ has been around for 30 years or so – technically it’s not new (neo) anymore. What it probably should be called is ‘not-liberalism’ or maybe we should start calling atheism neo-Christianity.

However, our use of designer still takes the cake. We throw it around like a baby in a trailer park and we never stop to think, “Hey, this is really stupid.” Sure at surface level it seems pretty sound – “It’s a designer T-shirt because it was designed by so and so and he’s a good designer.”

But then if you scratch a little below the surface (with a toothpick) the redundancy is revealed. To call something designer is to imply it has a designer but you’ll be hard pressed to find any item of clothing that doesn’t have a designer. Even a piece of crap T-shirt that you pick up from Pep was designed by someone.

The fun doesn’t end here, however, we’ve extended the adjective to cover just about everything – designer beer, designer gel, designer... stubble. Why not just extend this to people? After all a large chunk of the world to some degree believe in intelligent design.

Aren’t we all then the work of that big lady in the sky? Tell people to come on over and check out your designer friends. Actually that’s probably the slogan on a mouldy happy clapper t-shirt that’s rotting away in the basement of some free roaming serial killer.

Here’s the point: using the term ‘designer’ as an adjective is good old fashioned redundancy. Let us all try step away from this ridiculous display of description and use words that actually make sense. After all no one says, “Hey do you want to come over to my house and check out my artist artwork.” At least no one I want to hang around with.

Christmas Drought

2008-01-01T23:53:00.001+02:00

“Yippee-ki-yay, mother fucker!” Quick now someone shoot Alan Rickman, William Sadler, Jeremy Irons and Timothy Olyphant. Happy New Year from The End. You may have noticed that this blog was hit by the Christmas drought that seems to hit the South African blogosphere in December (Only 4 posts).

There is bound to be a New Years Rush as people franticly attempt to stick to their New Years resolution to blog more. Anyway watch this blog for some major plot twists including some new team members and the possible death of an one. And from now on I'll be posting as Monkey Boy instead of The End, since this is more of a team blog now. Audious amigos.

Instant Cool – Buy Blood Car – The Ultimate Christmas Gift

2007-12-17T09:49:00.001+02:00

If you haven't heard of Blood Car you are in the majority. Let's try change that. Find out how you can watch the funniest film of 2007 here.

It was the night before Christmas – wait that’s not right. It was a week or two before Halloween and I was covering the Toronto After Dark Film Fest. It was the second day of the festival, which also happened to be the day jam packed with the most screenings. I had just sat through a nearly three-hour screening of Uwe Boll’s painfully dreadful In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Burt Reynolds plays a medieval king- that’s how fucked this film is).

I was beyond tired and 99% sure that I was going to fall asleep during the screening of the next film. Unless, of course, the next film was something spectacular – the kind of film that drags you in and keeps you there in the moment against your will – like that crazy Dutchman from Hostel. From what I knew about the forthcoming film it did not seem like one of those movies.

It was some flick called Blood Car and at the time I thought this was an extremely lame title. Within the first few seconds of the film I was more hooked than a 14-year old girl on Zac Efron. The small budget indie is essentially a re-imagining of The Little Shop of Horrors concept but instead of a plant it’s a car.

The film is set in the not so distant future where gas prices have gone through the roof and nobody drives anymore. Then a young school teacher accidentally develops an engine that runs on blood. Being the only guy around with a working car gives him the power he has never had in his life and the question is raised, “How far will he go to keep his car running.” Here is the trailer:

The film is shock/black comedy all the way pushing the boundaries that most films wouldn’t. It’s definitely not for the conservative crowd but those of you who crack up over South Park and Family Guy will love it. If you were into Shaun of the Dead you should enjoy this.

The film is being independently distributed through TLA and the official website. The official website store is done through b-side, who specialize in indie movies. You can purchase the film from them for $15 plus you get a digital download free (or simply pay for a digital download for $3 or $6), so you don’t have to wait for your copy to arrive before you watch it. What are you waiting for – Pick up a copy today!

Or wait if you don’t want to spend money, here is the gift of information from The End for this Christmas. When you register with b-side they will give you a free portable download file (valued at $3). This is basically a 700mb Div-X film designed specifically for video i-pods but this is probably above the average pirate div-x quality that most Varsity students are used to. Use your free download to get Blood Car and end your miserable year off with a screening of the funniest film of 2007.

Golden Globe Nominations

2007-12-13T18:12:00.001+02:00

Here are the Golden Globe nominations and what this will probably mean for the Oscar nominations.

The Golden Globe Nominations have been announced in a year that appears to be wide open with no clear favourites. No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood are the current front runners for the top award having snatched the major critics awards so far. However, Atonement leads in nominations having received best actor, actress and picture nods. Here is the break down of the nominations from The Hollywood Reporter. After this list will be my comments regarding how this will possibly effect the Oscars.

Film Nominations:

Motion picture -- drama "American Gangster" "Atonement" "Eastern Promises" "The Great Debaters" "Michael Clayton" "No Country for Old Men" "There Will Be Blood."	Director Tim Burton, "Sweeney Todd" Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, "No Country for Old Men" Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Ridley Scott, "American Gangster" Joe Wright, "Atonement"
Actress -- Drama Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" Julie Christie, "Away From Her" Jodie Foster, "The Brave One" Angelina Jolie, "A Mighty Heart" Keira Knightley, "Atonement"	Actor -- Drama George Clooney, "Michael Clayton" Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood" James McAvoy, "Atonement" Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises" Denzel Washington, "American Gangster"
Screenplay Diablo Cody, "Juno" Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, "No Country for Old Men" Christopher Hampton, "Atonement" Ronald Harwood, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Aaron Sorkin, "Charlie Wilson's War"	Picture -- Musical or Comedy "Across the Universe" "Charlie Wilson's War" "Hairspray" "Juno" "Sweeney Todd"
Actress -- Musical or Comedy Amy Adams, "Enchanted" Nikki Blonsky, "Hairspray" Helena Bonham Carter, "Sweeney Todd" Marion Cotillard, "La Vie En Rose" Ellen Page, "Juno"	Actor -- Musical or Comedy Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd" Ryan Gosling, "Lars and the Real Girl" Tom Hanks, "Charlie Wilson's War" Philip Seymour Hoffman, "The Savages" John C. Reilly, "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"
Supporting Actress Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There" Julia Roberts, "Charlie Wilson's War" Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement" Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone" Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton"	Supporting Actor Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men" Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War" John Travolta, "Hairspray" Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton"
Foreign-Language Film "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days," Romania "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," France and U.S. "The Kite Runner," U.S. "Lust, Caution," Taiwan "Persepolis," France.	Animated Film "Bee Movie" "Ratatouille" "The Simpsons Movie"
Original Score Michael Brook, Kaki King, Eddie Vedder, "Into the Wild" Clint Eastwood, "Grace Is Gone" Alberto Iglesias, "The Kite Runner" Dario Marianelli, "Atonement" Howard Shore, "Eastern Promises"	Original Song "Despedida" from "Love in the Time of Cholera" "Grace Is Gone" from "Grace Is Gone" "Guaranteed" from "Into the Wild" "That's How You Know" from "Enchanted" "Walk Hard" from "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"

Television Nominations:

Series -- Drama "Big Love," HBO "Damages," FX Networks "Grey's Anatomy," ABC "House," Fox; "Mad Men," AMC "The Tudors," Showtime	Series -- Musical or cComedy "30 Rock," NBC "Californication," Showtime "Entourage," HBO "Extras," HBO "Pushing Daisies," ABC
Actress -- Drama Patricia Arquette, "Medium" Glenn Close, "Damages" Minnie Driver, "The Riches" Edie Falco, "The Sopranos" Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters" Holly Hunter, "Saving Grace" Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"	Actor -- Drama Michael C. Hall, "Dexter" Jon Hamm, "Mad Men" Hugh Laurie, "House" Jonathan Rhys Meyers, "The Tudors" Bill Paxton, "Big Love"
Actress -- Musical or Comedy Christina Applegate, "Samantha Who?" America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty" Tina Fey, "30 Rock" Anna Friel, "Pushing Daisies" Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"	Actor -- Musical or Comedy Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock" Steve Carell, "The Office" David Duchovny, "Californication" Ricky Gervais, "Extras" Lee Pace, "Pushing Daisies"
Miniseries or Movie "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee," HBO "The Company," TNT "Five Days," HBO "Longford," HBO "The State Within," BBC America	Actress -- Miniseries or Movie Bryce Dallas Howard, "As You Like It" Debra Messing, "The Starter Wife" Queen Latifah, "Life Support" Sissy Spacek, "Pictures of Hollis Woods" Ruth Wilson, "Jane Eyre (Masterpiece Theatre)"
Actor -- Miniseries or Movie Adam Beach, "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" Ernest Borgnine, "A Grandpa for Christmas" Jim Broadbent, "Longford" Jason Isaacs, "The State Within" James Nesbitt, "Jekyll"	Supporting Actress -- Series, Miniseries or Movie Rose Byrne, "Damages" Rachel Griffiths, "Brothers & Sisters" Katherine Heigl, "Grey's Anatomy" Samantha Morton, "Longford" Anna Paquin, "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" Jaime Pressly, "My Name Is Earl"
Supporting Actor -- Series, Miniseries or Movie Ted Danson, "Damages" Kevin Dillon, "Entourage" Jeremy Piven, "Entourage" Andy Serkis, "Longford" William Shatner, "Boston Legal" Donald Sutherland, "Dirty Sexy Money"

In terms of the Oscars here are my picks for Best Picture nominations:

"American Gangster"/"Juno"/"Sweeney Todd"
"Atonement"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood."

Atonement, No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood are shoe ins for best picture leaving one spot, which will likely go to Sweeney Todd or American Gangster but I'm penciling in Juno as well because the critics have been loving it.

Best Actress will most likely come more from the Comedy Musical section as the dramatic nominees have been in weaker overall films.

Julie Christie, "Away From Her"
Keira Knightley, "Atonement"

Amy Adams, "Enchanted"
Marion Cotillard, "La Vie En Rose"
Ellen Page, "Juno"

Here are my Best Actor picks.

Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood"
James McAvoy, "Atonement"
Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises" or Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd"
Denzel Washington, "American Gangster"

Ryan Gosling, "Lars and the Real Girl"
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "The Savages"

And lastly Cate Blanchett is pretty much a definite for a Best Supporting Actress win at the Oscars, having been robbed so many times for Best Actress in previous years and her performance is probably the strongest/strangest out of all the contenders.

Dexter to be Castrated then Shown on CBS

2007-12-06T01:59:00.001+02:00

Studio Briefing reports that due to the writers strike various Showtime shows will be edited down from their adult cable format to be played on sibling broadcast network CBS. CBS chief Les Moonves said, "Dexter is probably the first one to go on -- with some edits. ... It fits with our crime shows."

That means no semi-nudity and overly grotesque gore scenes for the general American public. This is a creative solution (which NBC announced first) from the content starved networks, since most people do not see these shows on cable.

It will be interesting to see how this amazing show fares on broadcast. How will it's rating stack up against the other CBS hits (which are crap). Hopefully not so well that they decide to keep it in its castrated form exclusively on broadcast TV.

The New Batman Teaser Poster

2007-12-05T19:19:00.001+02:00

Here is the new teaser poster for the new Batman film coming out next year. It looks fantastic as has been the rest of the promotional material for this film. Click the image for the high-res version.

For those of you who don't know Heath Ledger is the new Joker and his version looks to be way more twisted than the Nicholson version. Here is a picture also this is the new Bat suit, which is the first Batman costume ever with a moveable neck.

And if you haven't seen the teaser trailer, watch it here. At the end you will hear Ledger talking as the Joker and he sounds like a completely deranged clown. Perfect.

A Racist Was Here – or – Edward Carson Was Here

2007-11-30T08:25:00.001+02:00

Do you want to learn more about our ill informed little visitor and perhaps a little about racism as well? Probably not - discovering how backwards the world is is really depressing. Yes, you are probably thinking, “But racists come here all the time" (see transformers comments). This is true but that’s usually in an anonymous capacity. A few days ago Edward Carson’s tiny little head appeared on our Bloglog. It’s not hard to guess how he found his way here.

I was catching up with the comments on an article at capetownnews.co.za when I came across Ed’s comments. Here is a disturbing extract:

In a perfect world, kaffirs would not be so resistant to civilisation; they would embrace it and become part of it, and in time would acquire some of the human characteristics that us whites take for granted. In a perfect world. It doesn’t take rocket science to realise that we live in an imperfect world. So my friend, put aside your utopianism and guilt associated with our inability to get the blacks to transcend their sub-human nature, and wake up to the real world.

Very poetic. For non-South African’s, the ‘k’ word he uses at the start of the quote is a derogatory word for a black person, similar to the ‘n’ word, but if you’ve heard it spoken in South Africa you would understand that it is a hell of a lot worse. After reading this comment, out of curiosity, I went to his site and he obviously followed the link from his Bloglog.

Anyway Mr. Carson is one of the few racists out there I’ve seen who is brave enough to put his real identity on the line. He peddles his Hitler babble on his blog which features the old South African flag in the title. I am fairly certain this guy thinks Lamborghini’s are sexy.

Anyway there are few positives to discuss about Ed (other than freedom of expression and the fact that he is open about his bigotry). And a list of negatives would be a far too time consuming list of the obvious.

Instead let me rather present to you a theory of racism. I would like to bring up the work of Geoff Lakoff and Mark Johnson , specifically Metaphors We Live By. This is a sort of misleading title since the book deals with metaphors and metonyms but Metaphors and Metonyms We Live By just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Johnson and Lakoff believe that metaphor and metonym (along with their weaker versions simile and synecdoche)are important parts of our conceptual systems that guide our existence. Here’s a quote:

Metaphors have entailments through which they highlight and make coherent certain aspects of our experience. A given metaphor may be the only way to highlight and coherently organize exactly those aspects of our experience.
Metaphors may create realities for us, especially social realities.

Metonym, or more precisely synecdoche, proves to be particularly useful to help explain sheet wearing hoodlums such as Eddy. For those who can’t remember grade 11 English a Metonym is a relationship based on two things through association (ie. Referring to ‘the springboks’ to represent the South African Rugby team).

The weaker form, synecdoche, is when a part is taken for the whole, like when the stereotypical construction worker refers to a woman as “legs”. This particular form is what a lot of racists, and in particular Ed, do. For instance Ed groups all black people in the same category even though I highly doubt he has proof that this is the case for all black people.

So yes most of the violent crime in South Africa is being committed by blacks but it is not being committed by all the blacks. This is where Ed is having his problems - he is letting personal experience ("I did not have a gun. I did not believe in violence. I was not a ‘racist piece of shit’. But none of that could save me from black hatred and violence.") rather than logic guide his thoughts. If all black people were out there killing whites there would be no more white people left in South Africa.

In closing before people go off to Ed’s badly decorated blog just remember what Voltaire said, “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.” Ed has the right to say what he wants (well technically in SA you can’t say hate speech) and we have the right to tell him that what he says is a load of crap. Oh and Ed if you read this why not write a post about Dina Rodrigues on your blog (oh and here is a little something you might find interesting).

Vancouver 2010 - What's Up With the Mascots?

2007-11-28T04:13:00.000+02:00

Check out the crazy new Winter Olympics mascots. Can you guess which one used to be named after sex? Well, can you? My money's on the green one.

Remember the good old days when choosing a mascot was a simple matter of saying, "Hey, we're in Africa, why don't we just use a giraffe?" Well apparently that was a long time ago. The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics have gone and made the whole thing complicated and awkward.

Firstly, fuck that idea of having just one mascot let's have a whole army. Yes Vancouver 2010 has 3 official mascots and wait for it... they in turn have their own mascot (or sidekick), leaving a grand total of four mascots. Here they are, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi (who has "special powers") Note - Mukmuk not picture:

Secondly, these mascots aren't just cute cuddly images but they also have elaborate back stories. For instance:

Quatchi, a shy and gentle giant, is a sasquatch - a popular figure in local Aboriginal legends of the Pacific West Coast. Quatchi reminds us of the mystery and wonder associated with the great Canadian wilderness. Although Quatchi loves all winter sports, he's especially fond of hockey and dreams of becoming a world-famous goalie.

You wouldn't want to have an event without exploiting the environment so one of the mascots is also "environmentally conscious".

In addition, screw whatever Canadian heritage the country has, the designers opted to go with an Asian influence because Pokemon is what the kids love these days. Corporate greed is pretty. You can find more information about the mascots at their own minisite, where you will also find a rather addictive game about recycling (don't mock it I was going to post this yesterday but got distracted).

Oh and before I forget one of the mascots was originally named after an offensive word (apparently something to do with sex). If anyone finds out what the original name is I am willing to give you a back rub.

Women are Evil?

2007-11-26T08:47:00.001+02:00

Women are evil, at least that's the word on the street. Inside this post is "scientific" evidence that will prove absolutely nothing of use but hey at least it exists.I remember a few years back at varsity a friend of mine had this stuck up on his wall:

At the time everyone had a laugh (ha ha ha) and thought it was a clever joke. While the person who created it undoubtedly meant it as a joke (as well as an ode to masculine hegemony) and did not intend it to be analyzed seriously lets just be crazy and do it anyway.

First off, "Girls = Time x money". This is debatable as while women definitely equal time (what doesn't?) they certainly do not have to equal money (maybe who ever created this should have tried doing some sit ups). Sure there are enough Gold diggers out there to allow Kayne West to make millions off a song about it but this is a rampant generalization. A more accurate formula would be, "prostitutes = time x money". I'm sure that conservatives will be delighted to finally have a scientific argument against prostitution. Perhaps Senator Craig will present it to Congress (oh that's right he can't because he resigned after soliciting for sex).

But hey lets role with it and pretend that this is true. Then it is safe to say that anything that equals time and money is just the same. Hmm what else equals time and money. How about children, yes children equal time and money, thus children are evil (I always knew it). How about education and health care (republicans must love this formula)? What about any entertainment you can think of - video games, movies, books, etc. they are all evil too.

According to this anti-terrorist programs are evil and so is war (maybe Republicans aren't so crazy about it). In fact the only things that are not evil are free methods of spending our time and of course working for money. That means this whole formulae is un-American and anti-capitalist. Thus, according to this formulae the correct form of political action is communism.

I don't know who came up with this but lets call him Lloyd. According to Lloyd women are evil but so is everything else that's worth a damn in this life. In conclusion Lloyd is a commie bastard that wants to piss all over the American way, and that my friends is what my good friend Ronald Reagan would call evil.

Note: The author of this article is not American nor has he ever met Ronald Reagan and he possibly watches far too much of the Colbert Report.

Live Writer - Blog Like a Pro

2007-11-24T21:10:00.001+02:00

Windows Live Writer will help you blog better and it's free.

I seriously recommend Windows Live Writer to anyone who blogs. Particularly if you are a Blogger user as this is the platform I use and have found Live Writer to be an extremely useful tool. I started using the beta version a month or two ago and found it helpful. The only problem was that if you did not have access to an FTP server you could not place images from your hard drive in your posts.

My hard drive crashed this week and after I reformatted it I began reinstalling all my programs. I went to the Live Writer website and it turns out that it is out of beta (a notification from the program would have been nice). Anyway the previously mentioned problem has been fixed and now the program will upload images straight to blogger for you.

It is an extremely powerful blogging tool. You can create your posts in Live Writer and post them to your blog when you want. The program downloads your template so you can write posts in your blog format. In addition you have a spell check, a link bank and you can create templates for posts to follow. Plus you can do different to effect to images you upload such as gaussian blur or drop shadows.

Live Writer is especially useful if you have more than one blog. You can switch blogs in seconds. Live Writer works best for those who make complicated posts that are more than just text. Try it for yourself.

The Bachelor: Forrest Gimp

2007-11-21T07:56:00.000+02:00

According to Chris Harrison (host of The Bachelor) the bachelor's decision not to pick a mate is what everyone is talking about in North America (I personally haven't heard anyone talking about it).

I did, however, happen to land on the season finale while channel surfing and notice that this years bachelor is a bigger gimp than usual. He talks like Forrest Gump (as does Bush). I am starting to think that the films success played apart in George W's election. I guess that's how they roll in the states.

What's more shocking than the season finale is that this sexist piece of crap is still on TV. A bunch of women fighting over one man really does nothing to further the feminist movement. You can even hear the sexist undertones in the way that show creator Mike Fleiss talks about the finale here.

Review: Smorty

2007-11-17T22:39:00.001+02:00

Want to get paid for blogging? Try Smorty.You may have noticed our review of Pro360 a week or two ago. This was our first review for the blog advertising system Smorty. It allows you to blog for money. Basically it works in much the same way as Pay for a Post.

The first posts you have access to pay about $6 a post. The more you post the more points you earn and this gives you access to the higher paying posts. The system allows you to post your own opinion. However, the advertiser has to approve the post, so this might impair your ability to give an objective opinion, but our review of Pro360 was by no means a praising of the service and it got approved.

The Smorty service is ideal if you want to blog for money but do not get enough traffic to support the pay per a click systems such as Adsense. I can vouch for Smorty in that they paid promptly straight into my PayPal account.

One problem I have had with the service, which is not really a problem, is that there are very few post options that are relevant to this blog. Once more companies start to use Smorty to advertise on blogs this problem will resolve itself.

More Spiders and Some Mice on Drugs

2007-11-17T19:34:00.001+02:00

Animals seem to be getting high left, right and center.A big heads up to --Bamboo Blitz-- who drew my attention to this. In a previous post we showed some images of what allegedly happens to a spiders web when it is on drugs. Here is a video on the same topic. It seems to be a far more thorough investigation.

It's been on YouTube forever so you've probably already seen it. Over here is a flash app that shows the effects of drugs on the brain with the use of mice as a visual aid.

The Explanations aren't so interesting but watching the mice act like they are on drugs should entertain you for a solid 60 seconds.

Spiders on Drugs

2007-11-13T06:43:00.000+02:00

When humans get high they become promiscuous, do nothing or freak out. When spiders do it they spin some crazy ass webs.Cannabis.net have the following pictures of what happens to a spiders web when a spider is on drugs.First off here is the regular straight up sober spider web:

Then if that spider decided it was a good idea to drop some acid his web might end up looking something like this on the right.

That looks pretty groovy but what if that spider had thought, "You know what I don't really want to see giant Oranges running up the sides of buildings chasing Evan Rachel Wood. Why not try mescaline Hunter S. Thompson used to do that it would be pretty cool. "

Well then the spider would end up producing a web more like this one on the left.

Ok, so I'm sure we can all agree that if Spiderman is taking on Doc Ock he should definitely rather be on acid than mescaline. You wouldn't be able to beat many super villains with that web.

Ok so the peyote is not for you. Why not rather sit back and smoke some hash.

Well then the spider would manage to spin this out of his ass.

But maybe the spider decides that drugs aren't for him. Instead he heads down to Wimpy for a nice cheese burger and caps it off with a good old cup of coffee.

This is what would happen to his web:

So if any of you out there happen to be spiders stay away from the Red Bull cause that shit will fuck you up.

Box Office Expert or Spin Doctor

2007-11-13T03:08:00.001+02:00

Do you know who Paul Dergarabedian is? Do you know what his link to Bee Movie is? Do you know if Dreamworks pay him in diamonds? If the answer is no you've found the right article.Bee Movie captured 1^st place at the box office in its second weekend of release after opening in second last weekend to American Gangster. "It's so rare to do what Bee Movie has done," Media by Numbers President Paul Dergarabedian told the Los Angeles Times, attributing the jump to "terrific word of mouth."

This is an interesting statement from Dergarabedian but before I discuss why this is so interesting and unusual let us first learn a little more about Dergarabedian and Media by Numbers.

According to the Media by Numbers website Dergarabedian has been the industries most widely respected and widely quoted expert for nearly 15 years. Media by Numbers goal is to provide in-depth analysis and perspective for everything in the box-office and filmed entertainment industry. According to them, “We don’t just give you data. We help you understand it, use it, learn from it and profit from it.”

I am not disputing the validity of Media by Numbers mission statement. What I am concerned about is the validity, or intentions, behind Dergarabedian’s Bee Movie statement. Interestingly although Bee Movie has become number one in its second weekend its second weekend drop is worse than previous animated films that opened in early November. Consider the following:

Chicken Little – 21.0% drop
Monsters, Inc. – 27.2% drop
The Incredibles – 28.7% drop
Bee Movie – 32.8% drop

In addition Bee Movie has lower user ratings than each of these films (with the exception of The Internet Movie Database user rating for Chicken Little):

Chicken Little Yahoo User Rating: B- IMDB User Rating: 5.8
Monsters, Inc. Yahoo User Rating: B+ IMDB User Rating: 7.9
The Incredibles Yahoo User Rating: B+ IMDB User Rating: 8.2
Bee Movie Yahoo User Rating: C+ IMDB User Rating: 6.5

In addition Bee Movie’s second weekend drop is less remarkable in light of the Veterans Day weekend meaning more kids would have been out watching movies on Sunday. This is more likely the main factor helping lead Bee Movie to a first place finish rather than word of mouth.

This analysis is interesting for one specific reason. When the media says a film has terrific word of mouth it convinces the public that the people who are watching the film are loving it. However, clearly the yahoo and IMDB user ratings paint a different picture.

It is an interesting explanation from an analyst with over 15 years of experience to give and one has to wonder if Dergarabedian is a credible news source or if he is merely a spin machine being used by certain Hollywood players.

Animated Oscar Contenders Announced

2007-11-08T21:52:00.001+02:00

The animated oscar contenders have been announced. Who do you think will make it out of the 12 films?12 films have been submitted for consideration in the Animated Feature Film category for the 80^th Academy Awards.

They are Alvin and the Chipmunks, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters, Bee Movie, Beowulf, Meet the Robinsons, Persepolis, Ratatouille, Shrek the Third, The Simpsons Movie, Surf’s Up, Tekkonkinkreet, TMNT.

Alvin and the Chipmunks, Beowulf and Persepolis have not yet had their required LA qualifying runs. 3 Films will be chosen for Oscar nominations, which will be announced on Tuesday, January 22, 2008.

My money is on Ratatouille and Beowulf to definitely get nominated with a wild card coming from a foreign film or box office powerhouses Shrek and The Simpsons.

I’m glad to hear the Aqua Teens submitted, who cares if they have a snowballs chance in hell. Hopefully they won’t try any guerrilla tactics to promote themselves to the academy. Who do you think will get the nod?

Planet Terror vs Death Proof

2007-11-08T08:49:00.000+02:00

It's the battle of the Grindhouse. Who do you think will win? I'll give you a clue it's not Morgan Freeman.

You have to love the mainstream media for being completely useless. It was big news in April when Grindhouse was released and had a mega-disappointing opening of $11.6 million. The $60-million film only grossed $24 million in ticket sales by the end of its run.

The media was a blaze with speculation as to why the high profile project failed. Generally the blame was pointed at the project being badly marketed. Apparently a large portion of the market didn’t realize that the film was in fact two separate features being played together with fake trailers in between.

The two features being Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof and Robert Rodriquez’s Planet Terror. The media blamed the poor performance on Planet Terror mainly because critics loved Death Proof and many ticket patrons not knowing it was a double bill left after Planet Terror (which screened first). It also seems so did the studio as The Weinstein Co. decided to withdraw Grindhouse from Cannes in favour of a longer cut of the isolated Death Proof.

The poor box-office performance resulted in The Weinstein Co deciding to release the films separately on DVD and internationally. Now we have reached a phase in time where both films have had their separate DVD releases. And the media has done… nothing.

Death Proof has been in release for around 7 weeks and Planet Terror has now completed its 3rd. Yet there is no buzz about what happened with their sales figures. Well lets fill you in.

Planet Terror has convincingly drawn larger numbers than Death Proof in almost every respect. The film that was blamed for the failure of the Grindhouse venture is the more financially successful of the two. Lets look at the numbers.

Here are the first two weeks of DVD sales for Planet Terror and Death Proof:

Death Proof DVD Week 1 - 367,661 total units sold - $8,242,960 total gross

Planet Terror DVD Week 1 - 424,474 total units sold - $9,741,678 total gross

Death Proof DVD Week 2 - 479,019 total units sold - $10,803,080 total gross

Planet Terror DVD Week 2 - 561,524 total units sold - $12,886,976 total gross

Thus Planet Terror is about $2 million ahead of Death Proof after they both had two weeks of release. In terms of rentals Death Proof debuted to the tune of $2.87 million while Planet Terror soared past this with $5.77 million in its first week. As it currently stands Death Proof grossed $12.16 million after 7 weeks, while Planet Terror has grossed $14.45 million after just 3 weeks.

Anyway these figures would suggest that Planet Terror is the stronger of the two features. Plus there is this poll on sucksorrules.com that suggests the same thing. I think somebody owes Robert Rodriquez an apology.

Here are the Trailers:

Think Green Video Competition

2007-11-07T10:24:00.000+02:00

Do you want to read a post filled with really bad environmental commercials? No, what if I told you there's free candy... and makeup? Now maybe? Ok, ok, I'm sorry I'm just really bad at giving away free puppies. That's right there are pictures of cute fluffy little puppies in this post. Just read on. [note joke stolen from Blood Car].

But seriously watch the videos and have a pretentious laugh at those with noble hearts but no talent.

The following videos were selected in a Think Green video competition at rollmio. Firstly, I'd like to say that the videos that came in the top three were just not that great (in fact nor were the special mentions). Obviously the competition was open to the public and clearly people were not working on these with large amounts of time or money. However, what shocks me is the unoriginality of the concepts, each add looks like something that's been done before.

Anyway here are the ads in there order of placing and my comments.

1st Place:

What the hell's up with this country song? The big problem with this ad is that if it does stop people from littering the world will still suffer from a large excess of vomit caused by this ad. Plus what's up with the music at the end? Has anyone here heard of a little something called phasing out?

2nd Place:

This is in another language so I don't catch the phrase at the end, which might have helped me get it. The point is fairly obvious when it is viewed in context but if this popped up on TV randomly I'd have no idea what this was about. On the plus side this is definitely the best produced video of the lot.

3rd Place:

Well done on finding the most annoying kid's laugh in the world. I almost dumped the entire contents of by bin out the window in protest of this. Plus an animated tree growing in an environmental commercial, I've never seen that before. Well done.

Special Mention 1:

This one gets some points for originality and spirit. Main problem have these guys not heard of sound editing? The music was so muffled I thought I had a hearing problem.

Special Mention 2:

This one works the best on the whole. Again nothing spectacularly new but this definitely should have come somewhere.

Special Mention 2 or The Toilet Selection:

This, seriously? What the hell? I definitely do not want to "keep the trash in the bin" after watching that. I guess none of these resorted to sex to make a sale but then again maybe they should of. Leave your comments. How would you rank them? Oh and in case you came here looking for pictures of puppies:

Review: Pro360

2007-11-02T01:05:00.001+02:00

Have you ever wanted to gamble online but have been scared off by the mass of options. Maybe there is a solution...

Have you ever wanted to gamble online but have been scared off by the mass of options. That’s where Pro360 comes in. Pro360 is an online casino review system. They list a bunch of online rooms and provide reviews of them. The rooms are arranged according to rank and have been rated by both the site and user reviews. It’s easy to narrow the list down to your game of choice: craps, poker etc.

The incentives are obvious for such a business. They get the referral fees from the casinos that they sign up people for. Obviously there is nothing wrong with this and Pro360 have set up some fairly impressive bargains for people who go through them. For instance, if you sign up with Titan poker regularly you get a $200 sign up bonus but if you go through Pro360 that increases to $500.

Problems:

There are 76 poker rooms and Party Poker is not one of them. It just doesn’t make sense to not review one of the biggest poker rooms if that’s what you are about. There is also no mention of Absolute poker, which as has been mentioned earlier on this blog, is going through a bit of a scandal. I think it would be a nice addition to mention the dodgy gambling destinations and some kind of warning. Otherwise the whole thing is a good idea but it just doesn’t go far enough.

Review: Private Practice

2007-11-01T20:20:00.001+02:00

For those of you who can't get enough of Grey's Anatomy here's the spin off...

The Plot: After discovering that she is infertile; being rejected by men left right and center; and failing to get promoted (tough year), Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh) leaves Seattle Grace, in this Grey’s Anatomy spin off, for sunny California. She begins working at a private practice, which is filled with TV regulars such as Taye Diggs (Day Break, Kevin Hill, Ally McBeal), Tim Daly(Wings), Amy Brenneman (Judging Amy) and Paul Adelstein (Prison Break).

The Good: Generally an enjoyable show and will definitely please a large portion of Grey’s fans. It’s also good to see Daily and Diggs on shows that will actually stick around. Plus Adelstein just continues to impress me (did any one catch him on Scrubs – hilarious).

The Bad: One of the things that makes Grey’s work so well is that it is in Seattle and filmed with a greyish or dull tint, which is contrasted by cheesy character moments. The cheesy moment seem less cheesy in the bleak setting of the show. Practice on the other hand plays it’s equally cheesy (or possibly more so) elements against a very bright and cheerful atmosphere, making it kind of vomit inducing at times.

The Ugly: I’ve seen two episodes so far and none of the medical cases have been particularly interesting. Which is strange because the Grey’s formula is: Find an unusual medical case - Apply it to the character on an emotional level - then further allow it to be a point of reflection for one of the main characters. Also there's an unattractive receptionist/surfer with no acting ability and flabby man boobs who continues to walk around shirtless. Disturbing.

The Verdict: This show was the top debut of the season for awhile until fellow ABC freshman show, Samantha Who?, knocked it off that pedestal. Plus the ratings have been continuously high and it has already been picked up for a full season. This one is bound to be a success and with time the writers and actors will be able to better define the characters and their situations.

Review: The Bionic Woman

2007-10-30T09:33:00.000+02:00

Our TV reviews have taken a bit of a dive recently but now they are back in full swing with NBC's The Bionic Woman.

The Plot: A woman is almost killed in a car crash, losing several of her limbs. However, her scientist boyfriend reconstructs her with bionic body parts making her into a cyborg super woman.

The Good: The fight between the Bionic Woman and, wait for it… The other Bionic Woman is well choreographed. Plus there are some decent effects.

The Bad: The story is relatively slow and doesn’t really leave one wanting more. Lead Michael Ryan does the whole chameleon thing drifting from tasty to nasty. Critics also find her performance too deadpan but I think it works in the role.

The Ugly: The show has already changed producers a number of time it its short existence, which means that the shows direction is in trouble. There is nothing worse than watching a show that doesn’t seem to know where it is going. The lead character just seems rather ungrateful. She’s angry with her boyfriend for saving her life because of the changes he makes to her. On the other hand her BF tells her she is a cyborg in one of the worst possible manners. Subtlety is an art.

NOTE: A recent episode of Grey’s Anatomy takes the cake for the worst doctor – patient diagnosis report in the history of serious TV drama. It is revealed to said patient that there is cancer in her tongue and that it will be removed and replaced with tissue from her calves. The patient, who is a chatterbox, responds, “Will I still be able to talk?”

McSteamy replies, “Yes, you’ll still be able to talk…” [pause], “But no one will be able to understand you.” [Insert canned laughter]. That’s worse than the doctor from Family Guy.

The Verdict: It’s not looking good for this show, the ratings have been dropping after a promising debut (8.4/13; 6.8/11; 6.4/10; 5.5/9; 4.8/7) and the mainstream media are trashing the show. One of them referred to it as “The Moronic Woman”. Plus I’m fairly certain this is a high budget series so network expectations are higher then what it is generating. It’s lucky this year the writers strikes has given most new shows an extended life cycle. I don’t see this making it to a second season.

Watch the Pumpkin Rott - Slowly

2007-10-29T08:37:00.000+02:00

As part of their marketing for the new Batman film, The Dark Knight, Warner Bros. have set up a flaming pumpkin animation here. The right hand side is slowly rotting in, I'm sure, anticipation of Halloween.

This film already had a similar marketing tactic that resulted in the first photo of Heath Ledger as The Joker being revealed. Will this rotting pumpkin result in the first image of Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face? Find out on Halloween.

Saw IV - Seen a Lot

2007-10-28T00:31:00.001+02:00

Jigsaw is back and he's making box office analysts look like a bunch of corpses.Box Office analysts have been saying for months that the Saw franchise has burnt out and that Saw IV would have a drastic drop in it’s opening tally. Figures between $18-$22 million were the general estimates going into this weekend.

But now Jigsaw has blown those figures out of the water with a $14 million Friday and early estimates of $33.3 million for the weekend. That puts it in place to possibly take the Saw crown away from Saw III, which had a $33.6 million opening last year.

I am not surprised at all by this result; I have been expecting a mammoth weekend for a while now. The tracking that came in this week was the only thing that caused some doubt in my mind. Now lets sum up why analysts thought Saw IV was going to disappoint and why they were wrong.

Torture Porn is Dead:

The horror genre got an upsurge in 2004 from the original Saw when it began a trend that is now known as torture porn (this can be debated torture porn is not necessarily new, also other films can be argued as the starting point). The trend resulted in three Saw movies, Hostel and The Hills Have Eyes, which were all hits. This year, however, a number of torture porn releases failed to impress. This included the massive drops from franchise heavy weights Hostel 2 and The Hills Have Eyes 2.

There definitely is a lack of interest in the genre but the Saw films are in a different league from the other torture films. Firstly, even the first Saw ($55m) was far more successful than the nearest torture porn rivals (Hostel - $47m, Hills - $41m). In addition these two films achieved impressive grosses from other means. Hostel (which was crap) was marketed under the Quinton Tarantino name and many teenagers mistook Hills as the movie adaptation of MTV’s The Hills (this is probably not true). Thus torture porn is dead and probably never even reached the heights that it was hyped up to. Saw on the other hand is a well-established franchise that makes it stand out from the genre as a whole.

The Series has been Descending in Quality:

Many argue that the first Saw was unbelievably original and since then the franchise has been relying on increasing the gore/torture factor while becoming more and more of a sixth day violation.

For me Saw was never that original, ever heard of a little Fincher film called Seven? And in terms of Saw fans they are almost split down the middle over which is better, Saw or Saw II. There are even some who champion Saw III. The most important thing to remember is that the franchise has progressed and developed a complex protagonist who many view as the greatest villain of the new millennium. Jigsaw kicks ass and each movie has done a good job of adding to the character making any Saw film with Tobin Bell a must see.

Position, Position, Position:

The film has marked off the Halloween weekend as it’s designated landing point for the last four years. There is no better time for a horror film to launch and the Saw franchise has become a Halloween tradition.

Plus each film has been release a year apart making it hard for another franchise to some in and block it from the weekend, while at the same time keeping interest high.

Saw IV though will probably have bigger drops than the previous sequels. I'm looking for a finish just north of $75 million. I will have to see it before I comment on the possible success of Saw V.

The Problem with Blog Rush

2007-10-27T01:01:00.001+02:00

Blog Rush has some major snags in its service and its policy that leave it looking rather questionable.Blog Rush is a great tool for getting traffic to your blog. We were using it and found it very effective. The first problem with Blog Rush is that they do not seem answer their customersupport@blogrush.com emails. We have sent in a number of emails to them some recently and some when they first started and have not received a response to any of them.

The second problem is with the so-called ‘Quality’ review. This blog failed the review yet as far as we can tell it passes every single one of the standards. Since failing the review we have sent a number of email to ask why and nothing. How are the corrections meant to be made if the mistakes are not pointed out?

Blog Rush do not inform you in the email that they send why they have failed a blog. If the quality reviewer cannot take the time to simply write a small phrase or check a box that mentions why the blog failed can we even call it a review. The lack of feedback means that some blogs that meet all the criteria can be band for no reason at all. It also means that without this disclosure the system is ripe for foul play.

Let’s quickly look at the quality guidelines and how they apply to this blog:

The blog contains unique, quality content that provides opinions, insights, and/or recommended resources that provide value to readers of the blog. Articles, videos, public domain works, press releases, and content written by others are okay to be used on the blog, but the ratio of unique content should far outweigh content from other sources. CHECK

All our content is completely unique. We have a few links to other stories but the majority of them are written by our writers and even when we link we provide our own commentary. CHECK

The blog should be updated on a regular basis (at least several times a month) and should not just go a few months between posts. CHECK

The blog should already contain at least 10-12 quality posts. New blogs with very little content will not be accepted. CHECK
The blog's primary contain must be in English. BlogRush is currently not available for non-English blogs. CHECK

The blog should not contain an excessive amount of advertising and links and very little actual content. The focus of the blog should be quality content. CHECK

The primary content of the blog should not be "scraped" content from other sources and/or script-generated pages for the sole purpose of search engine rank manipulation. The focus of the blog should be quality content. CHECK

The blog's content (or advertising) should not contain any of the following types of content: hate, anti-racial, terrorism, drug-related, hacking, phishing, fraud, pornographic, nudity, warez, gambling, copyright infringement, obscene or disgusting material of any kind, or anything considered illegal. CHECK

Thus, it seems we meet all the criteria. I suggest people digg this post to spread the word then maybe Blog Rush will do something about the situation, especially since they are not answering their email.

The Amazing Poker Scam

2007-10-18T15:37:00.001+02:00

Here is some great poker advice: "Do not play at Absolute Poker!" Steven Levitt from Freakonomics (great blog, better book) has been following a poker scam there. Part One: Some poker player played like he could see everyone's cards, crazy. Part Two: Fellow poker players investigated and with the aid of an inside informant discovered that a staff member of Absolute Poker was responsible for the cheating. Hopefully this isn't happening at 3 Piggs. Read the full story here and here.

Video Game Destroys the Box Office

2007-10-18T05:31:00.001+02:00

Tired of merely killing Aliens, the space marines of Halo 3 set their sights on the film industry, claiming poor Ben Stiller as their first casualty.

According to Studio Briefing the release of Halo 3 may have been the cause of the recent low box office earnings. Here is the original segment:

Some industry analysts are blaming the release of the videogame Halo 3 for the current dive in movie ticket sales. Advertising Age has observed that over the Oct. 5 weekend, after Halo 3 had sold $300 million worth of copies, the box office was down 27 percent below the same weekend last year -- the worst performance for an October weekend since 1999. Over the same weekend, The Heartbreak Kid, which some box-office gurus had predicted would make up to $30 million, brought in only $14 million. "The audience on this game is the 18-to-34 demographic, similar to what you'd see in cinemas," Mike Hickey, an analyst at Denver research firm Janco Partners, told AdAge, adding that the box-office slide "could last for several weeks.

This is just going by official sales and isn't taking into consideration all the pirate copies of the game that are bound to have spread. In any case this means that film distributors will now also have to take high profile game releases into consideration. The poor performing R-rated Heartbreak Kid was essentially released when a large chunk of it's target audience were glued to their computer. Big oops DreamWorks.

Since games tend to consume a lot more time then major sporting events this means that distributors are going to have a whole new bunch of challenges on their hands. Possibly having to forecast a games potential impact in weeks before claiming a release date.

Stick Arena: Say Good Bye to Your Life

2007-10-16T19:39:00.001+02:00

Stick Arena is a game from XGen Studios where you run around and kill other stick men. The best part is it's a live multiplayer game, which means you are running around against live opponents.

You can also register and thus keep all your stats. So grab a baseball bat, sword or gun and kill some stick figures.

Play Stick Arena

The Most Disgusting Short Story Ever Written

2007-10-15T08:47:00.000+02:00

Sexual taboos and gross out vomiting, now that's a crazy combination for one little story.About two years ago I read a review for Chuck Palahniuk’s Haunted, which you should probably know a little about first. Basically Haunted is a short story collection, however, instead of just arbitrarily collecting his short stories in an anthology Palahniuk has weaved them into a novel. Basically the main characters are all partaking in the same twisted writing seminar and Palahiniuk’s short stories are the work of the characters.

Anyway, the review made mention of one particular story called Guts. The reviewer broke off into a rant over how disgusting this popular Palahinuiuk story is. Anyway, I completely forgot about the review and went on with my life. Then the other day I started reading Haunted and Guts is the first short story in the collection.

This tale of taboo sexuality is probably the most disgusting thing I have ever read. I actually gagged while reading it (in fairness I was hung over). It’s an extremely well written piece of fiction and as disgusting as it is I could not stop reading. It’s starts off fluffy and lighthearted and climatically builds till your wriggling in your seat with discomfort. I was forced to finish and walked around for the rest of the day as nauseous as hell. Strangely enough I highly recommend it. Read Guts here.

Review: Reaper

2007-10-14T04:46:00.000+02:00

Writing this review made me sleepy.

The Plot: Another show with a slacker but this time he doesn’t become a top secret government security concern (Chuck). Sam just turned 21 and what he doesn’t know is that before he was born his parents sold his soul to the devil. Satan himself has come to collect and now Sam must live out the rest of his life as the devil’s bounty hunter, capturing escaped souls from hell.

The Good: Kevin Smith (Clerks) directs this quirky pilot to perfection, delivering a sharp witty, quick paced 40-minutes that packs on the comedy. You have to love a show where the main character dropped out of college because it made him sleepy. Bret Harrison is perfect in the lead role and his own show has been a long time coming. Ray Wise makes a great devil and Tyler Labine as the weird sidekick friend is hilarious.

The Bad: No actual horror here and this is the kind of show that should have some kind of scare factor. Plus I saw the second episode and it was the same formula, which was a bit of a downer. The show needs to make the escaped souls concept better.

The Ugly: Once again a comparison of the first two episodes but the effects budget was obviously much higher in the first and the second really didn't feature much action.

The Verdict: The show scored a 2.1/3, which is good for the CW, plus it has had very small declines since the debut which means this should be around for the season.

Review: Journeyman

2007-10-14T00:25:00.001+02:00

Have you been leaping randomly through time only to return and be disappointed to discover that you missed the premiere of Journeyman. Well at least you can read this review.

The Plot: Much like the average university student, Dan Vassar blacks out and wakes up in strange places. However, Vassar isn't just waking up in strange places but different periods of time. Vassar struggles to understand what is happening to him as he unexpectedly journeys through time.

The Good: For some reason I was not expecting much from this show but I was completely offside. Everything fits into place in a show that brings back good memories of that other TV time travel extravaganza Quantum Leap. The obvious differences being that Dan Vassar always remains Dan Vassar and that he gets to return to his regular life. There is no explanation as to why Vassar makes these leaps, which will provide a good reason for viewers to keep watching. Kevin McKidd has a charming bulldog like quality in the lead roll. Plus their is a juicy emotional story/love triangle set up that should be entertaining.

The Bad: Nothing overly hectic here but for some reason nobody seems to age in the 10 year intervals in the story. You would think a show that shows people at different stages would have invested in some 'age' makeup.

The Ugly: I can't think of anything, maybe I should mention the lack of ageing thing again.

The Verdict: From what I've seen I want this show to go on, however the similarly themed Day Break (which also had Moon Bloodgood) didn't last last season. Plus the show took a big knock in the ratings from it's second to third episode. I recommend watching this one while it's around.

Review: The Big Bang Theory

2007-10-13T04:04:00.001+02:00

Will this show make a ‘big bang’? Read the review and find out… God, I hate myself.

The Plot: Two nerds amble around in their socially challenged lives until a beautiful girl moves in next door and decides to befriend them.

The Good: The concept is not that bad and has the potential to produce some good comedy.

The Bad: It’s a traditional sitcom (which if you haven’t been paying attention – I hate). The execution is all-wrong and the show just feels clunky. I think there is a strong script here but the actors are not able to pull it off. The best way to look at it would be to compare it to the shows creators other gig – Two and a Half Men. The jokes are similar and at the same intensity but there’s no Charlie Sheen and Richard Cryer to deliver them.

The Ugly: I can’t stand Kayley Cuoco, as they say in France – “She’s lame.” Johnny Galecki doesn’t do nerd very well and instead goes for creepy. Jim Parsons is channeling David Hyde Pierce in all the wrong ways.

The Verdict: While I and about a million other people stopped watching it after the premier it’s doing pretty well for a sitcom currently (and it’s in a tough time slot). I don’t think this show has a particularly high budget, so if the viewer dropping stops it should make it through its first season. It might even hit its stride late in the season as many new sitcoms do and gain some viewers.

Do You Want Smarter Posts?

2007-10-12T11:00:00.000+02:00

We’ve just added the intelligent expandable posts hack. The hack makes it so the “Read It…” link only appears when there is more to the post. Meaning that there is no more “Read It…” link at the end of a short post when there is nothing further.

To add it to your blog click here. But be warned the post is in Spanish and Google Translator changes the code. So make sure to have a translated and untranslated version of the page open.

Review: Chuck

2007-10-11T03:02:00.000+02:00

It’s a strange name yet there’s a martial arts expert (Chuck Norris), a kick ass author (Chuck Palahniuk), two recent movies (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Good Luck Chuck) and now a TV show that all share it.

The Plot: Josh Schwartz (The OC) brings us the story of slacker inadvertently exposed to a subliminal message that encodes his brain with all the information from the recently destroyed US super computer. Now Chuck has all of the US governments secrets and classified information lying dormant in his head and is suddenly America’s no.1 security concern.

The Good: This is a fast paced quirky action comedy. The lead Zachary Levi is charismatic and likeable and he is surrounded from a great support cast. Plus Adam Baldwin is in the show (which would mean something to you if you’ve heard of Firefly or Serenity).

The Bad: None of the jokes are laugh out load funny. They are more of the – think quietly to yourself, “well that’s worth a chuckle but not out load” kind of variety.

The Ugly: Nothing, really this is one of the best new shows. Some may argue that the show is cheesy and far-fetched but that’s exactly what it’s meant to be.

The Verdict: It’s in a tough time slot having to deal with Dancing with the Stars, the How I Met Your Mother/The Big Bang Theory comedy block, and Prison Break. Plus it’s the lead in for Heroes, which has seen its ratings dropping rapidly. In TV world when a new show is the lead in for a hit and the hits ratings starts to drop the new show is often blamed. As much as I love this show the ratings have been steadily dropping from 6.0/9 to 5.1/8 to 4.5/7 after three episodes, if this continues the show is toast.

Review: Back to You

2007-10-10T02:19:00.000+02:00

Anybody want to read a review of Back to You? ...Anybody?

The Plot: A big time news anchor fucks up royally on air resulting in him returning to the small town news station where his career began.

The Good: The return of Kelsey Grammer (Frasier) and Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) to TV charms this small screen sitcom right up. Plus having Fred Willard (Anchorman) in the cast is a further bonus. As far as traditional sitcoms go this is a top-notch act. A high joke ratio with the punch lines being delivered by seasoned pros. Throw in some melodramatic soap opera type plot aspects and you have a formulae for a very entertaining show.

The Bad: It’s a traditional sitcom. Traditional sitcoms are over, maybe not in the ratings but they’ve served their purpose in culture and will soon disappear. It’s only a matter of time before we do away with the canned laughter for good. Allowing the audience the autonomy to decide what is actually funny and being able to squeeze more jokes into the 22-minute format.

The Ugly: Some fat guy who was more than unconvincing as the station manager. On a generally excellent cast he stands out like a sore thumb bringing the show down.

The Verdict: I’m predicting a moderate hit, but what the hell do I know?

Review: Gossip Girl

2007-10-09T03:44:00.000+02:00

After a long delay, due to technical difficulties, the new TV season reviews continue with Gossip Girl .

The Plot: Picture a snooty private high school in New York where the majority of the students get more pocket money than you make in a year. At this high school the queen bee of uber-chicks suddenly disappears without a trace. One year later she returns unexpectedly causing mass confusion among her spoilt pears. The whole event is documented by the schools anonymous gossip blogger – Gossip Girl.

The Good: Josh Swartz (The OC) is back delivering some more of those quick witty comments that made his first show a success.

The Bad: The cast members who get these lines might as well be reading passages from the dictionary. That’s right, there’s no Adam Brody here just some uncharismatic pretty boy who wouldn’t know sarcasm if it pissed in his Sprite Zero.

The Ugly: I read a review of this show that said if you turned off the sound you wouldn’t be able to distinguish it from The OC, which I found odd because visually the shows a hit. Great cinematography that captures autumn in New York, making this a somewhat different looking Teen show. However, it’s the same old same old in terms of story. Swartz has his beloved triangle theory in full force and the actors are all really just there for their aesthetics. Plus, the little girl from The Grinch is there wearing skimpy outfits, and at 14 that’s just creepy.

The Verdict: I’m tempted to rule this show off, but it might be a hit with the teens. With such a “young” cast there’s a chance they might hit their stride after a couple of episodes, plus the CW doesn’t exactly expect stellar ratings.

The Gigantic Adsense Glitch

2007-09-21T05:39:00.000+02:00

There’s a glitch in the Adsense matrix and it’s not deja vu. OK it’s not in the Adsense matrix but it is a general glitch with the whole Adsense concept, which can be used to maximize your revenue.

It just occurred to me and I may be wrong because I haven’t read the Adwords policy but I think I’ve found a gigantic glitch in the system.

Adsense work on a per-a-click basis, thus Google only charges you when someone clicks on you ad. Now this works out great for the majority of products trying to make sales online or trying to get people to come to their website to get information. But what about products that do not need clicks to get their advertising across?

I was surfing the web and I saw an ad for The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and I thought to myself, “that ads made it’s whole sale to me upfront whether I click on it or not.” This is obviously the case with all ads for films and similar products.

Point being if you are trying to make the most out of your Adwords or any other per-click-advertising service, pick up a print publication and see what works there. Try and deign an ad that advertises the product without being clicked. Pretend you are designing a street poster or an ad for a bulletin where people will walk past it and only think about the product at a later date. Thus, you are getting value from your ad weather it is clicked or not.

This brings up another point always try get a domain that’s easy to remember. Then don’t forget to put this domain on your ad clearly. There have been many times I’ve seen an ad on this site and been interested, but of course you are not allowed to click your own ads. However, if the url is in the ad you can easily type it out.

To Sum up:

Make sure your ad makes its whole sale pre-click. Clicks are good for Google not necessarily you.
Have an easy to remember or catchy url and make sure that this is prominently displayed on your ad.

Review: K-Ville

2007-09-20T00:51:00.000+02:00

Review of the series premiere of K-Ville but maybe the title already gave that away.

The Plot: Set in New Orleans two years after Hurricane Katrina following two cops trying to help rebuild the city.

The Good: It looks good visually as the show is shot in a hardcore edgy style similar to The Shield. However, the highlight of the show is seeing Anthony Anderson in a dramatic role. Anderson is more known for his comedy but the man is one fantastic piece of actor. He’s one of those rare individuals that can express whatever he’s feeling through his eyes alone. Also there is an interesting twist at the end of the pilot and although it seems improbable it does add another dimension to the show.

The Bad: The action sequences are all over the place and for some reason whenever there is a shot of Anderson and Cole Hauser running with their guns out they are aimlessly firing off rounds. They look like a couple of kids with water pistols.

The Ugly: The plot surrounding the duo’s first case is ridiculous drifting further and further into B grade action towards the end. Maybe the producers consulted Steven Segal on how to pull off an ending. The main villain even has a fancy little speech when apprehended.

The Verdict: As bad as the ending of the episode was Hauser and Anderson have good chemistry together and the show is worth it just to watch Anderson actually act. It debuted after the season 3 premiere of Prison Break, which had a rating of 4.9/8 and actually built on this to pull off a 5.7/9 rating. This means the marketing guys did their job, if they can up their game for the next episodes and the drop off is not to bad this one may stick around.

Get Free Traffic for Your Blog

2007-09-19T14:52:00.000+02:00

Tired of only your mom and your cat visiting your blog? Okay my cat doesn’t really visit my blog but I hold it up to the screen while I visit my blog. Anyway, now there is a free service to increase your blog traffic.Lets face it generating traffic for your blog is important but it’s also a pain in the ass. However, now there is a new service that claims to get traffic to your blog hassle free (and also for free). It’s called Blog Rush and in theory it sounds like it could work.

It works on a basic pyramid scheme type system. You place a Blog Rush widget on your site. The Blog Rush widget is basically a big box that generates links to posts from your feed. Most traffic exchange ideas, such as Links2Blogs, only give you a click credit when someone clicks on one of these links on your blog. Blog Rush gives you a click credit every time your blog is loaded so you’ll benefit immediately people start visiting your page. In addition every time you refer someone they generate click credits for you.

Another bonus is you cannot pay for extra ads or prominence on the list so everyone is equal. The service also has a filter to make sure that only posts in your blog category are displayed in your blog (I’ve already read about 10 posts from our Blog Rush widget that sparked my interest). You can also exclude specific blogs or keywords from your widget. For instance if you want no posts from www.groogle.co.za you block it and presto, no posts from there are displayed. Or if you do not want to have any posts about Ryan Seacrest in your widget just enter his name in the keyword filter.

Blog Rush launched on 14 September and has promised to keep out the spammers. Watch the introductory video at Blog Rush for a more in-depth explanation. We’re currently testing this service out here at The End so if you are unsure about it come back in a couple of weeks to see what we think of it.

War, Family Guy and the Emmys

2007-09-19T04:34:00.000+02:00

Stewie and Brian from Family Guy sing at the Emmys, Ryan Seacrest is a tool, and apparently it’s wrong to hate war.

So the Emmys on Sunday were the lowest rated ever. Is anybody surprised? Firstly, Ryan Seacrest was hosting not exactly a crowd puller, “Oh, look that guy with no personality is hosting the Emmys! I have to watch!”

Secondly, Fox had a five second delay to cut out swear words and unpatriotic speech, like “war is bad”. Did they have to cut out the whole of Sally Field’s comment? They don’t even cut out “God damn” from sitcoms anymore. Plus, hey why not use that 5 second delay to get the crowd shots right. Watch the Family Guy clip above. Could they have found less interested people to zoom in on in the crowd? Way to engage the audience at home. Well-done Fox.

TV Season

2007-09-19T01:44:00.000+02:00

The new TV season is here and we're reviewing it. Life is great.As some of you may know I am currently in Canada, which means I can view the new shows that are currently launching with the new fall season. Since all these shows will eventually trickle down to SA, I will be reviewing the first episode of most of them (I’ll only review a few reality shows). Here is the breakdown of what to expect. I have not done any research into this breakdown I am simply basing this on the marketing that has found me.

Nashville – Fri, Sep 14, 9pm – Fox
Will not be reviewed. A reality show from the same people who made Laguna Beach. Sounds like the same thing as Paradise City except it’s set in Nashville and it revolves around country musicians.

K-Ville – Mon, Sep 17, 9pm – Fox
A buddy cop drama set in New Orleans set two years after Hurricane Katrina. Starring Anthony Anderson (The Departed, Transformers) and Cole Hauser (Pitch Black). The promos make it look like a fast paced action show shot like The Shield. Since I’m an Anderson fan I’m rooting for this one. Read the review.

Kid Nation – Wed, 19 Sep, 8pm – CBS
Will not be reviewed. Reality show where a bunch of kids are placed in an adult free town and are in complete control of its running. The show has already generated a fair amount of controversy concerning child labour laws. Read the review.

Back to You – Wed, Sep 19, 8pm – Fox
Sitcom starring Kelsey Grammer (Frasier) and Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) as two TV news anchors. Due to the two leads this is obviously very high profile. The show uses a laugh track, which is an automatic negative, but this one will probably land an audience. Read the review.

Kitchen Nightmares – Wed, Sep 19, 9pm – Fox
Will not be reviewed. A reality cooking show with Gordon Ramsay.

Gossip Girl – Wed, 19 Sep, 9pm – CW
An adaptation of a successful teen novel (or something along those lines) from Josh Swartz the creator of The OC. The promos show a bunch of emotional peeps in their early twenties falling in love and yelling a lot. The camera work looks slick and this could definitely be the next big teen show. Read the review.

Chuck – Mon, Sep 24, 8pm – NBC
Another from Josh Swartz, this time with a grown up Seth Cohen type character becoming involved in the world of international espionage completely by accident. An action/comedy adventure that seems to have some zing. Read the review.

The Big Bang Theory – Mon, 24 Sep, 8:30pm – CBS
A sitcom about two highly intelligent nerds who can’t get a date. Then a beautiful woman moves in next door and befriends them. That’s pretty much all I’ve heard. Read the review.

Journeyman – Mon, Sep 24, 10pm – NBC
Confusing trailer about a man who jumps around through time. Don’t know how this will do since it looks pretty similar to Day Break which fell off the TV screen pretty quickly last season.
Read the review.

Reaper – Tue, 25 Sep, 9pm – CW
Kevin Smith directs the pilot with the funny neighbor from Grounded for Life in the lead. Centers around a guy who finds out his parents sold his soul to the devil and know he has to become the devils bounty hunter. The film takes an action/comedy position and could fill that hole left when every one of Joss Whedon’s shows were taken off the air. Read the review.

Cane – Tue, 25 Sep, 10pm – CBS
Jimmy Smits plays a wealthy heir to a rum empire. It looks like a Latino version of Dallas.

Bionic Woman – Wed, Sep 26, 8pm – NBC
A remake of the Bionic Woman series. A woman gets a large portion of her body replaced with bionic parts, which turn her into a super powered individual.

Private Practice – Wed, 26 Sep, 9pm – ABC
Medical drama/ Spin off series of Grey’s Anatomy that follows Kate Walsh’s character to California. This show basically had its debut during the last season of Grey’s Anatomy (al la Boston Legal in The Practice) so it will have less room for error than the other new shows.

Dirty Sexy Money – Wed, 26 Sep, 10pm – ABC
All I know is that Peter Krause (Six Feet Under) is in it, which is enough for be to be highly excited.

Life – Wed, Sep 26, 10pm – NBC
Damien Lewis (Band of Brothers) stars as a cop who is wrongfully imprisoned for life. After fifteen years in prison new forensic evidence clears him and he returns to the force a changed man with a surprisingly optimistic outlook on life.

Big Shots – Thu, 27 Sep, 10pm – ABC
I’ve so far heard nothing about this but the cast includes Dylan McDermott (The Practice), Michael Vartan (Alias) and Christopher Titus (Titus).

Moonlight – Fri, 28 Sep, 9pm – CBS
New vampire drama, which is probably not so great since it is scheduled on a Friday.

Aliens in America - Mon, 1 Oct, 8:30pm – CW
The promos don’t really explain much but have a bunch of quotation (hopefully not from CW executives) claiming this is the funniest show ever. Seems to be about high school nerds.

Cavemen – Tue, 2 Oct, 8pm – ABC
A sitcom based on a series of car ads. Looks lame.

Carpoolers – Tue, 2 Oct, 8:30pm – ABC
Saw the preview on ABC’s website of the pilot and the acting lacked the proper timing. However, many sitcoms start out this way and get better after 4 to 6 episodes. Centres around the adventures of four guys in the same carpool. Not quite sure how they’ll make a whole season out of this.

Pushing Daisies – Wed, 3 Oct, 8pm – ABC
Another show that hasn’t been advertised much here. The ads say it’s amazing but not much else.

Life is Wild – Sun, 7 Oct, 8pm – CW
Apparently set on a South African game reserve. Probably a lame family show.

Women’s Murder Club – Fri, 12 Oct, 9pm – ABC
A group of four women solve murders. Not much hope for this because as with Moonlight it is also on a low-rated Friday night.

Samantha Who? - Monday, 15 Oct, 9:30pm – ABC
Sitcom staring Christina Applegate about a woman who has amnesia and needs to rediscover who she is. A potentially funny premise plus Applegate can be hilarious (see Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy).

The Next Great American Band – Fri, Oct 19, 8pm – Fox
American Idol with bands.

Viva Laughlin – Sun, 21 Oct, 8pm – CBS
Who the hell knows?

Catch the reviews as the shows debut.

Review: Shortcomings

2007-09-17T03:07:00.000+02:00

Read Shortcomings by Adrian Tomine. Or you can read this review of it but be warned the review isn’t as good as the graphic novel.“What’s the difference between Asian and Caucasian men? The Cauc!”

No it isn’t racist joke month over hear at the end, this is a line from Adrian Tomine’s Shortcomings. Shortcomings is a graphic novel centred around the life of Ben Tanaka, a disillusioned 30 year old Asian male whose life is moving slower than a bill to prevent global warming.

Ben has reached the peak of his profession as manager of the university theatre. His relationship with his long-term girlfriend, Miko, has hit rock bottom and among the many arguments they are sharing, Minko’s fear that Ben is obsessed with white women is a frequent fixture.

Tomine captures the essence of a dead relationship and I must say it is refreshing to read a graphic novel that doesn’t venture into the action/sci-fi/horror realm. The medium is underused as a platform for emotional “everyday” storytelling. Tomine carefully weaves general male melancholy in with racial tension.

Interestingly enough I read another review of Shortcomings, which slammed the book as a style over content type piece with a lack of plot. I’d like to point out that there is a tendency to overate plot in our culture. At the end of the day most stories travel along the same path and it’s more about the journey than the ride. A plot is something you can tell someone in a couple of minutes but it doesn’t capture what went on in between. That’s where the real magic lies somewhere in the middle where the text come to life.

Take When Harry met Sally for instance. It’s your average Hollywood plot, guy meets girl, girl is repulsed by guy. Guy and girl meet again and become friends. Girl falls for guy. Guy falls for girl, blah, blah, blah… Happy ending. I’m sure that’s never happened before (obvious sarcasm). Nothing in the plot captures the amazing character building events in-between and why it leaves the viewer feeling something at the end.

Point being Shortcomings isn’t a plot driven piece going through the motions till it gets to its final climax. It’s a character driven emotional traffic jam, which reminds you that you’re not going anywhere you might as well look around and see who you are stuck here with.

The First Iron Man Trailer

2007-09-11T09:28:00.000+02:00

A link to the first Iron Man teaser trailer plus some really lame commentary.The Iron Man trailer is out (watch it) and to be perfectly honest I am disappointed. Luckily, the problems with the trailer stem from the editing and not what is shown from the actual film.

The visuals look great and from what I can see of Downey’s performance he’ll be a great asshole industrialist. However, it looks like they got some half-assed commercial director to throw the thing together. It’s lacking intensity and urgency. Since this is the first independently produced Marvel movie maybe they couldn’t afford to throw money at the big trailer producers. Look at the guys that Sony got to do the Ghost Rider trailer. Ghost Rider was a piece of crap but the trailer made it look amazing. Hopefully Marvel throws some quality cash at the next trailer.

Also what the hell is Jeff Bridges climbing up? Is it the Iron Man armor or a really small Ultimo? Or maybe just a ladder? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Dude! That's Pretty Gay

2007-09-02T10:33:00.000+02:00

That's right, we said gay, you want to read on don't you? Ok, ok stop, stop, we can't lead you on. It's all political... or is it?You haven’t heard the news have you? Well let me fill you in; an American politician was being all gay and stuff. That’s right, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho was involved in an airport restroom scandal.

June 11th (good day June 11th, well for me at least) the Senator was arrested by an undercover cop. Police claim the Senator solicited an undercover officer for sex in the men's washroom at the airport, using a series of signals such as foot tapping and placing his hand under the partition between the stalls. And as we all know you only tap your foot when you want sex.

The Senator plead guilty on August 8th and resigned from his position as governor of Idaho, effective September 30th. However, the Senator claims he is innocent and that his only mistake was pleading guilty without consulting a lawyer.

This story is interesting for ? reasons:

1) Yes, sometimes people plead guilty to crimes they don’t commit for a lighter sentence (like Nick Cage’s character in Con Air). Honestly though, what kind of US Senator pleads guilty to a gay crime (gay in that the majority of people would brand you that) when it would certainly lead to the end of their career (since being gay in America goes down so well outside of San Francisco) while being innocent. Let’s be honest with ourselves: Larry, you were looking for some same sex action (oh and here's his argument).

2) This is a good old case of what goes around, comes around. The Senator had consistently voted against gay marriage. And to put the cherry on the cake; after the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal, he said: "It's a bad boy, Bill Clinton. You're a naughty boy," Well, what a naughty one you are Larry.

3) OK, so there is a hint of an argument since Larry tired to pay for sex and prostitution is illegal (which it shouldn’t be), but the real shame is that this is a gay issue. I heard the news dude say it on TV: a senator is caught in a “GAY” prostitution scandal. Why say gay if it’s not a gay issue? That’s the tragedy of it all, Mr. Craig was trapped beneath a conservative blanket that pushed him away (and obviously still does) from how he truly felt. Honestly, how does this affect his leadership ability? He likes the cock so he can’t govern? What the hell is that?

Transformers: Racism, Sexism and Americana

2007-08-13T09:40:00.000+02:00

It just wouldn’t be a Hollywood if you didn’t throw in those three ingredients. I was a massive Transformers fan when I was a kid, thus I was obviously excited when the film came out. Overall it was a little more for the younger crowd but I enjoyed it. But there are three things I feel compelled to point out.

Racism:

As if trying to justify itself to the horror genre the film decides to take on two of the most notorious Hollywood stereotypes. The only black Autobot, Jazz, black in that he is voiced by a black actor and his dialog is stereotypical of the comedic black character, is killed in the film. He is in fact the only Autobot to be sacrificed to the forces of evil.

Debatably one could argue that he was a Christ-like sacrifice, since there is a fair range of arguments that Jesus was in fact black. However, I highly doubt this since 85% of the red states get enraged when they hear this theory and alienating 85% of half your audience just isn’t good Hollywood business sense. I guess it just boils down to good old-fashioned family racism.

Misogyny:

Keeping the horror movie spirit going the film also has another important lesson: “Smack your bitch up!” In the climatic scene our hero (Shia LaBeouf) running for his life trips and bumps into a woman’s car. The woman reacts with some harsh words, obviously pissed about her car and not noticing the giant robots in pursuit of our guy.

This woman is set up as a stereotypical self obsessed bitch and as every piece of white trash knows if a woman’s a bitch you’d better beat the attitude out of her. The poor lady whose only crime was worrying about her car is eaten alive by the very car she stands up for. Hectic.

Americana:

Nothing like a good dose of Americana, but really what were you expecting? It’s a movie about giant robots that turn into cars (well mostly). If you’re going to complain about that, I’m going to have to complain about your inability to predict a film’s overall vibe from a trailer (you must waste a fortune on movies you don’t want to see).

Yes the film’s filled with fast cars, jocks, hot chicks and explosions. My favorite ingredient: The ode to football. What’s more American then football? After all the rest of the world does calls it “American” football.

The Setup: Our hero, the social outcast who’s been labeled as a nerd but really isn’t (another Americana cliché), tries out for the football team and is humiliated (and quite literally crushed).

The Play: In the climax of the film our boy runs down a street holding an “object” like a football. In pursuit of him is the entire Decepticon defense. Fortunately for Shia he is flanked by Autobot blockers who provide him the cover he needs to make it all the way to the “end zone”. Hollywood magic at it’s best. At least Optimus Prime didn’t transform into an American flag at the end.

How to Add Post Teasers to Classic Blogger

2007-08-12T07:38:00.000+02:00

Remember when we graced you with the knowledge of how to add teaser posts to the new Blogger… No? Well here is how to add them to the classic Blogger templates.The following is how to create teaser posts for the classic blogger template, to create teaser posts for the new blogger click here.

First, from the blogger dashboard go to settings/archiving and enable post pages. Then follow the guide to adding expandable posts to the classic template here at the Blogger Help Center. Once you’ve done that you should have made three important changes to your blog.

1) You will have inserted this code:

<mainorarchivepage>
span.fullpost {display:none;}
</mainorarchivepage>

<itempage>
span.fullpost {display:inline;}
</itempage>

between your <style> tag and your </style> tag.

2) You will have inserted this code:

<MainOrArchivePage> 
<a href="<$BlogItemPermalinkURL$>">Read more!</a>
</MainOrArchivePage>

after this line of code: <$BlogItemBody$>

3) Finally, you have gone to the settings section of the blogger dashboard. From here you have clicked on the formatting section and inserted the following code into the post template box:

Here is the beginning of my post. And here is the rest of it.

Note: I have just shat out this process for a detailed explanation of how to do it go to Blogger Help Center as mentioned above. Now let me quickly explain what everything does:

1) This creates a section in you post. With the addition of this section your posts now have two possible sections. The first section will show on your main page and the post page, the second section, however, will only be displayed on the post page.

2) You have added a read more link. This will appear at the end of every post on the main page and it takes you to the individual posts page when clicked allowing the viewer to see both sections of the post.

3) You have added code to your post template to make it easy for you to place your content in the relevant sections of your post. The first section is not marked by anything but everything you want to only show on the posts page must be in between the tag and the tag.

Now if you want to create teaser posts you will have to make changes to steps 1 and 3. To make a teaser post you are basically just adding a new section to your post, so after this you will have 3 sections in a post instead of 2.

To add the new section insert this code above the code you inserted in step 1:

<mainorarchivepage>
span.teaser {display:inline;}
</mainorarchivepage>

<itempage>
span.teaser {display:none;}
</itempage>

Then in your dashboard/settings/formatting section replace the previous code in your post template box with this:

Insert teaser here.Insert body of post here.

Now your posts have the following three sections:

1) Teaser section: Anything between the tag and tag will only appear on the main page and not on the post page.
2) Normal section: Anything that is not between span class tags will appear on both pages.
3) Post section: Anything between the tag and tag will only appear on the post page.

This obviously opens up your formatting to far more than just the basic teaser setup we’ve been using. So have fun experimenting with all the different combinations. Also it can be a bit tricky at first to format these successfully and you can basically forget about your blogger preview as being a useful reference point. My best piece of advice for formatting is make sure there are no spaces before and after span tags.